Peeved roommate
| Peeved roommate | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 971 |
| Locations | Any location, with a Mini-Hipster familiar |
| Hit Points | 75% of player's muscle |
| Attack | Moxie (cap at 10 000) |
| Defense | Muscle (cap at 10 000) |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | mole skin notebook |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
 |
You're fighting a peeved roommate |
Before you can get to your next adventure, an immaculately-dressed-and-coiffed guy walks up and points an accusatory finger at <Familiar Name>.
"Dammit, <Familiar Name>," he says, "I've had enough of this relationship where we sleep in the same bed and I pay all of your expenses, but it's totally platonic! If I wanted that, I'd get married!"
<Familiar Name> looks surprised, and says, "dude, you're gay?"
"What IS it with you?" William replies. "You've known I'm gay for years now! Do you constantly beat your skull with an iron pipe when I'm not around?"
"Who are you, again?" <Familiar Name> says.
ROUND ONE: FIGHT!
Hit Message(s):
He stomps away from <Familiar Name>, stepping on your foot in the process. Oof! Oof! Oof! Ugh! Oof! Eek!
He aims a devastating instep-stomp at <Familiar Name>, but hits you instead. Oof! Ow! Ugh! Ugh! Ooh! Argh!
He tries to dragon punch <Familiar Name>, but ends up hitting you instead. Oof! Ouch! Argh! Argh! Ouch! Ooh!
He uses his crazy homosexual telepathy powers to lift <Familiar Name> up and slam him into you. Eek! Ouch! Ow! Eek! Ouch! Ouch!
He aims a punch at <Familiar Name>, but misses and hits an innocent bystander. The bystander explodes in a shower of gold coins, some of which smack you square in the forehead. Weird. Ugh! Ow! Ouch! Ooh! Oof! Oof!
He stops to buy lunch for himself and <Familiar Name> before continuing the fight.
He tries to stomp on <Familiar Name>'s instep, but is out-of-step.
He tries to dragon punch <Familiar Name>, but fails miserably.
He tries to use telekinesis, but that only works for vegans, not gays. Possibly gay vegans.
He decides to just by[sic] <Familiar Name> a drink to settle the argument, but <Familiar Name> insists he doesn't drink. The two of them argue about that for a while, while you yawn.
not known
 | You acquire an item: mole skin notebook |
Occurs anywhere, with Mini-Hipster equipped (sometimes)
References
- Based on a character from Scott Pilgrim named Wallace Wells.
- William Wallace is also a Scottish hero, recently portrayed in the movie Braveheart.
