Pencil golem
| Pencil golem | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 71 |
| Locations | The Daily Dungeon |
| Hit Points | 11 |
| Attack | 15 |
| Defense | 13 |
| No-Hit | 25 |
| Initiative | 60 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | construct |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, torso |
| Drops | pencil stub |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a pencil golemThis room is guarded by a golem made out of pencils. It's pointy. The golem, that is, not the room.
Hit Message(s):
It pummels you, sobbing "I always wanted to be the number 1 pencil. But no..." Ow! Ugh! Ouch!
He stabs you in the foot. If pencils had lead in them, you'd get lead poisoning. As it is, it's only graphite poisoning. Ouch! Oof! Ooh!
It blows a bunch of pencil shavings in your face. It tastes kind of like breakfast cereal, and really stings when it gets in your eyes. Ooh! Argh!
It pencils itself a memo about kicking your ass, then kicks your ass. Handy! Argh! Ugh!
It beats an erratic tattoo on the walls around you which sounds suspiciously like morse code. Suddenly, thousands of pencils fall from the ceiling. It's like an impossible dream! Only, unlike in dreams, it really hurts. Oof! Ouch! Ouch!
It pokes you right in the <groin>. Thankfully, it's a number 3 pencil, and the lead is nice and soft.
It tries to fill you out like a multiple-choice test, but you get the lead out and dodge.
It blows a bunch of pencil shavings in your face, but you close your eyes before they can get encrusted.
It pencils itself a memo about kicking your ass, but you tip it over and it erases its memo.
It tries to rain blows on you, but you dodge the finale of seem.
It tries to erase you, but you resist being rubbed out.
It taps a rhythmic tattoo on the wall that sounds suspiciously like morse code. A rain of pencils falls from the ceiling. The thunderous clatter of splintering wood is deafening, but none of the pencils hits you. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: pencil stub |
| You gain 4 <substat>. |
Occurs at The Daily Dungeon.
References
- The hit message "I always wanted to be the number 1 pencil" refers to the fact that number 2 pencils are the de facto standard.
- The hit message about lead poisoning refers to the fact that the part of the pencil that actually makes the marks is often called lead, despite being graphite, a form of carbon.
- This monster's critical hit and fumble messages refer to the They Might Be Giants song "Pencil Rain", which include the lyrics "The possible dream, the finale of seem" and "The thunderous clatter of splintering wood and lives that are claimed", and includes morse code in the song's bridge.
