Possessed eyewashing station
| Possessed eyewashing station | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1366 |
| Locations | Chemistry Class |
| Hit Points | 75% of Monster Defense |
| Attack | Player's Moxie+3 |
| Defense | Player's Muscle+3 |
| Initiative | 20 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | demon |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | eyebleach, faucet, pipes |
| Drops | chlorine crystal, chlorine crystal |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a possessed eyewashing stationThis thing was originally designed for safety--it's like a fountain with two spouts to rinse out your eyes if you get something corrosive in them. But the eldritch spirits, not without a sense of irony, possessed the thing and now it bubbles boiling bleach instead of water.
Trust me, I know that when you see something horrible (like, say, Howard Taft in a thong and pasties) you say you want eyebleach, but you really, really don't.
Hit Message(s):
It squrits bleach at your eyes, but misses and gets your mouth instead, which isn't any more pleasant. Ouch! Ugh!
It squirts hot bleach at your eye, but only manages to get some up your nose. Still hurts, though. Argh! Ouch!
It bleaches your ankle. And your socks. But the ankle is what hurts. Ooh! Ouch!
It squirts bleach at your hair, and ends up frosting your tips. And searing your eyeballs, too, but nobody's perfect. Argh! Argh!
It squirts your skull with a jet of hot bleach. Ooh! Oof!
It stops trying to splash bleach on you, and just bangs itself into your shins instead. You're not sure which is worse. Ouch! Oof!
It fills your mouth and stomach with bleach. Well, at least now you practice what you preach, right? Ooh! Oof!
It squirts hot bleach at your eyes, but you point out the whites of your eyes are plenty white.
It tries to bang itself into your shins, but you dodge as fast as a baker at dawn.
It squirts bleach at your eyes, but only succeeds in bleaching your eyebrows, which were a bit dark anyway.
It squirts hot bleach at you, but you hold up a pair of socks that weren't as white as they ought to be.
It squirts bleach at your hair, but just ends up frosting your tips.
It tries to bleach your <ankle>, but ends up bleaching your teeth instead. Moxious!
It tries to fill you up with bleach, but you decline to become one of the Bleach Boys. It gets disappointed that you're not practicing what you preach, and has to go regroup. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: chlorine crystal (25% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: chlorine crystal (10% chance)* |
Occurs at Chemistry Class.
Notes
References
- William Howard Taft was America's 27th and most obese president.
