Regular thief

There are some vague or non-exact figures and information on this page. Some spading is required. Has some sort of damage resistance

Regular thief
Monster ID	2074
Locations	The Cursed Village Thieves' Guild
Hit Points	100
Attack	150
Defense	150
Initiative	100
Meat	None
Phylum	dude
Elements	None
Resistance	?
Monster Parts	torso, head, leg, arm
Drops	Rubee™, Rubee™
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a regular thief

While looking around the thieves' guild, you run into a guy who is undoubtedly a thief, judging from the shifty look on his face and his clothing, which is... actually, on second look, he's dressed totally normally. Like not even fantasy normal, just regular dark-colored street clothes. Well, anyway.

"Fie on thee, thief!" you exclaim in some sort of accent. "Ye shalt be punished for your banditry!"

"Who says I'm a thief?" he scowls. "I'm here for totally legitimate reasons!"

"Yeah? Like what?"

"I'm uh... a park inspector." He pulls out a knife. "This is my inspecting knife. Give me your wallet, so I can inspect it."

or

That guy who claimed to be a park inspector is here, lugging a sack. He takes a gold candlestick off a shelf, peers at it, and dumps it in the sack with a sigh.

"Aha! I've caught you thieving!" you say, stepping out of the shadows and pointing an accusatory finger. "Return that gold candlestick at once!"

"It's brass, you moron," he says. "This junk is barely worth the trouble to haul it out of here. Err... for inspection, I mean. I have to take it to my inspection van."

or

You run into that "park inspector" again. He seems to have cut a hole in the wall and is pulling out the copper electrical wiring. "I suppose you're an electrical inspector too," you say haughtily.

"Mind your own business, or I'll inspect your guts!" he says, pulling out his inspecting knife.

or

That thief is here. He's eating a sandwich. "Aha!" you say. "You've plundered yon victuals merchant for your ill-gotten meal! Admit it, knave!"

"I brought it from home!" he protests. "Have you eaten here? I wouldn't steal a sandwich from this place if they paid me to do it!"

or

It's that thief again! He's dumping a treasure chest full of gold coins into a bag! "Avast, ye varlet!" you shout. "I've caughtst thou red-handed in thy wicked larceny!"

"Why do you keep doing that stupid voice?" he asks.

"It's more fun. Put those doubloons back!"

"They're not even real! They're not even metal! Go away!"

"Why are you stealing them, then?"

"I... I just like shiny things! Leave me alone!"

Hit Message(s):

He inspects your <ankle> with his inspecting knife. Ow! Eek! Ouch!

He clocks you with a gold candlestick that is actually a brass candlestick that is actually a heavy plastic candlestick. It still hurts. Ooh! Argh! Ow!

He pipes you in the <ankle> with a length of copper clock. Wait. Check that, reverse it. Ow! Oof! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He hits you with a burlap sack that has "Ye Swag" stencilled on the side. (CRITICAL HIT!) Oof! Eek! Argh!

Miss Message(s):

He starts to hit you with a stolen ornament, but changes his mind and puts it in his sack instead.

He tries to inspect your <ankle>, but you're like "Hey, my eyes are up here, buddy."

He winds up to bash you with a length of copper plumbing, but decides it's probably the most valuable thing he's found all day.

Fumble Message:

"...What size are those shoes?" he asks you. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: Rubee™ (100% chance)*

You acquire an item: Rubee™ (100% chance)*

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Occurs at The Cursed Village Thieves' Guild.

Notes

• Steals 100 turns of an effect each turn:

He steals something from you...

You lose an effect: ... something[[Data:{{{effect}}}]]

• The effect steal will not occur if stunned.
• This monster cannot be wished for.