Resolution: be feistier
resolution: be feistier
This is a slip of paper with a motivational speech on it calculated to make you want to destroy things. The author intended it as a way of encouraging you to get rid of clutter, but that's not exactly the traditional way in which Adventurers channel their destructive urges...
Type: potion
Effect: Destructive Resolve (20 Adventures)Weapon Damage +20
Spell Damage +20
Cannot be discarded
(In-game plural: resolutions: be feistier)
Obtained From
- Skills
- Summon Resolutions
When Consumed
| ||
| You read aloud:
"The first rule of this resolution: You will not talk about this resolution. The second rule of this resolution: You will not talk about this resolution. Seriously. Nobody wants to hear about your stupid resolutions. The third rule of this resolution: <rule> The fourth rule of this resolution: <rule> The fifth rule of this resolution: <rule> You get tired of all the rules, and decide it's time to go destroy some things. You start with the slip of paper. | ||
|
Rule List
- Destroy something beautiful. Or something ugly, it doesn't really matter.
- Everything wants you to hit it as hard as you can. Literally everything.
- Get in a fight every day. Actually, get in hundreds of fights every day. That would be awesome.
- If you love something, set it on fire. Actually, set it on fire whether you love it or not. Just to be safe.
- It's not whether you win or lose. Wait, yes it is.
- On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everything you encounter drops to zero. Usually because of you.
- Once you've lost everything, you're free to punch anything.
- Only when you break a lot of stuff do you get a name. The name is still <name>, but that's when you get it.
- Reject the basic assumptions of civilization -- like the ones about how you shouldn't beat up everything and everyone you meet, for instance.
- The purpose of household chemicals is to make explosives. No matter what it says on the bottle.
- The things you own own you, and it would be much harder for them to own you if they were broken into a lot of tiny pieces.
- The things you own own you. Break them.
- The things you own own you. Set them on fire.
- You are <name>'s cold <kidney> -- that's what <name> hits things with.
- You are <name>'s raging <kidney> -- that's what <name> uses to break stuff.
- You are <name>'s throbbing <kidney> -- that's the part of <name> that produces all of the anger hormones.
- You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. Beautiful and unique snowflakes are weak and can't beat anybody up.
- You can swallow a whole bunch of blood without getting sick, but it's more fun to make other people do that instead of you.
- You can't rise to the top until you hit the bottom. Or a whole bunch of monsters and stuff. You can also hit them.
- You should probably stay away from the soup. Because you might break the bowl and get soup on your clothes.
- Without pain, you have nothing. This probably applies to everybody else, too. You should test it out. On them, I mean, not on you.
References
- The consumption text refers to the rules of Fight Club.
See Also
Collection
- 🥇: Pastahead (#486552) - 35,126
- 🥈: Jererry (#1216109) - 29,000
- 🥉: Mistress of the Obvious (#845708) - 22,769
- #4: Donavin69 (#2151136) - 20,316
- #5: StuBorn (#1852283) - 15,668
- #6: testostronaut (#1407937) - 11,995
- #7: Cryanger (#1547990) - 10,601
- #8: Hamo_Boy (#1653979) - 7,317
- #9: whizdad (#443313) - 7,034
- #10: Curbludgeon (#2206224) - 5,972
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