Screw golem
| Screw golem | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1361 |
| Locations | Shop Class |
| Hit Points | 75% of Monster Defense |
| Attack | Player's Moxie+4 |
| Defense | Player's Muscle+4 |
| Initiative | 40 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | construct |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | lag bolt, phillips screw, screw, straight screw |
| Drops | wood screw, wood screw |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a screw golemThis is a hulking monstrosity made from all of the screws students have dropped on the floor through generations of Shop Classes at KOLHS. The frustration and ineptitude of every student has left a kind of psychic aura that brings to life creations like this, and makes them very, very angry.
It's also the answer to the joke "what did no character in the Lord of the Rings want to do?"
Hit Message(s):
He hooks you with a hook screw and throws you across the room. Eek!
He picks up a screwdriver and beans you with it. Eek!
He puts a Phillips screw in your <face> and a standard screw in your <face>. They both hurt equally badly. Eek!
He puts the screws to you. Eek!
He runs a big ol' cross-cut deck screw through your <face>. Yeowch! Eek!
He screws your hand to the wall with a drywall screw. Eek!
He lifts you up to the ceiling with one giant hand, then uses the screws in the other hand to screw you to the ceiling tiles. You writhe for a second before the tiles break and you come crashing down to the floor. Ouch! Ooh! Ouch!
He tries to hit you, but you threaten to unmake him with a screwdriver.
He tries to deck you with a deck screw, but you dodge.
He tries to put the screws to you, but you're put off by his advances.
He tries to hook you with a hook screw, but it fails to bring you back.
He tries to screw you to the wall with a drywall screw, but you point out the wall's plaster-and-lath.
He tries to put a standard screw in you, but you point out you're more of a Phillips person.
He notices a cache of rare sheet metal screws in the garbage, and runs over to add them to his body. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: wood screw (25% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: wood screw (10% chance)* |
Occurs at Shop Class.
Notes
References
- The joke is a reference to the character Gollum. This is a common mispronunciation of the word "Golem", which is actually pronounced "goh-lehm".
