Sorrowful Hickory

Sorrowful Hickory
Monster ID	1125
Locations	The Clumsiness Grove
Hit Points	75% of Monster Defense
Attack	Player's Moxie+2 (min 10, max 150)
Defense	Player's Muscle+2 (min 10, max 150)
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	plant
Elements	None
Resistance	?
Monster Parts	leaf, branch, trunk, root
Drops	clumsiness bark, clumsiness bark, cup of hickory chicory
Bounty	hickory daiquiri
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting the Sorrowful Hickory

Jehosaphat Grepp is a hickory, now,
For he died due to clumsiness. I'll tell you how:
One fateful day, he was walking along,
And the Jumbletuck Hurble-bird burst into song
Now the Hurble-bird's song was so loud and so sweet
That he looked to the sky and neglected his feet,
And where he was stepping was nothing but air!
Not the manhole cover that should have been there.
With a woosh! and a splash! Gone, Jehosaphat Grepp!
Oh, the places you'll go if you don't watch your step!

Hit Message(s):

A hickory branch smashes into your rump!
You'd like to see this one turned into a stump!

You get hit with a mouthful of branch from the hickory
Man! You're knocked back by such hickory dickery!

The tree hits you with a stout branch on both arms,
You're amazed at the pain that the hickory farms.

You trip on a hickory root, get unsettled
And fall to the ground, going arse over kettle.

Critical Hit Message:

With a slash from a branch and a bash with his trunk,
The hickory punches your face, chest, and junk.

Miss Message(s):

You manage to dodge a branch slash from the hickory
Next time it should move just a little more quickerly.

Ol' hickory fails to slash you in the rump,
It's sure not Napoleon of any Stump.

Despite its attempts to reap pain and sow harms,
You're immune to the hurt that the hickory farms.

You start to trip, then you get back into balance
And do one-armed push-ups like wily Jack Palance.

Fumble Message:

He tells you how he died, a tearful depiction
You've already read in the monster description. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: clumsiness bark (80% chance)*

You acquire an item: clumsiness bark (2% chance)*

You acquire an item: cup of hickory chicory (15% chance)*

You acquire a bounty item: hickory daiquiri

(X of 6 found)

Notes

• Hit messages at this time are not normally shown while in The Suburbs of Dis due to the poetry scheme overriding them. Messages acquired via copying monster.

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Occurs at The Clumsiness Grove.

References

• "Old Hickory" was a nickname of U.S. President Andrew Jackson.
• During his presidency James K. Polk was known as "Young Hickory", an allusion to his mentor Andrew Jackson, and "Napoleon of the Stump" for his speaking skills.
• Hickory Farms is a food company.
• Jack Palance was an American actor who achieved notoriety for doing one-armed push-ups during an acceptance speech at the 1992 Oscar awards.
• Oh, the Places You'll Go! is a Dr. Seuss book.