Stella, the Turtle Poacher (The Nemesis' Lair)
| Stella, the Turtle Poacher | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 873 |
| Locations | The Nemesis' Lair (Turtle Tamer) |
| Hit Points | 220 |
| Attack | 170 |
| Defense | 153 |
| No-Hit | 180 |
| Initiative | 80 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | Galapagosian Cuisses |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting Stella, the Turtle PoacherYou quickly duck as Stella grabs a rope and swings down from the balcony at you. She lands in a low crouch, fork and sickle gleaming in the fluorescent warehouse lights.
"It is just impossible to get good lackeys these days," she sneers. "Looks like I'll have to get my hands dirty."
"Your hands are already dirtied with the blood of innocent turtles, murderess!"
"Oh give it a rest, already! Your weird obsession with turtles is going to be the death of you. Literally, because I'm going to kill you for screwing with my profit margins." She pauses, and cocks her head to one side. "...'Murderess'? Seriously?"
"You prefer something else? I'm thinking of a word that starts with "B" and rhymes with 'evil murdering virago'" you growl.
"Oh, that's funny. I'll have them carve that on your tombstone for you." Light streaks from her weapons as she spins and leaps at you.
Hit Message(s):
Stella feints to the left, then stabs you with her fork on the right. And then she stabs you again, but on the left this time. Ugh! Ouch! Ooh!
Stella does a series of handsprings toward you, ending with her sitting on your shoulders with her thighs clamped around your neck. That's pretty hot, but then she starts stabbing you in the eyeballs, which is less appealing. Ooh! Argh! Oof!
Stella launches a high kick at your face; you can totally see... well, the bottom of her shoe. And then, stars. Oof! Ooh! Oof!
Stella drops to the ground and spins, slashing at your hamstrings with her sickle. "Slashed Hamstrings" is my second-favorite punk band. Ooh! Eek! Ugh!
Stella leaps and does a spinning backflip over your head, and lands in a crouch behind you. Then she reclaims the fork with which she stabbed you in the head on the way over. Argh! Ugh! Eek!
Stella launches a spinning kick at your head, but you duck and she gets all flustered and embarrassed that you might have seen her underwear.
Stella does a series of handsprings toward you, and then past you, and then into a wall.
Stella feints to the left, but you weren't paying attention and dodged left anyway, and she misses. The two of you frown at each other, a little confused.
Stella drops to the ground and spins, but you manage to get your ankles out of the way just in time.
Stella stands still for a moment, wobbling slightly. It looks like all the flipping and tumbling is making her pretty dizzy. (FUMBLE!)
- Upon being defeated:
"Argh!" Stella tumbles away from you and stands panting, holding her arm. "All right <mac/sister>, you are seriously ticking me off now."
"I haven't even started yet!" you say, full of righteous fury. "No more innocent turtles are going to die to make meaningless trinkets to fuel your avarice! You and all of your murdering cronies are going down, this I vow! Soon I will... where are you going?"
Ignoring you, Stella strides off through a nearby door and deeper into the factory complex. How rude!
Before chasing her, you take a moment to poke around for loot. I mean, you're on a mission of vital ecological importance and all, but you're still an adventurer.
 | You acquire an item: Galapagosian Cuisses (100% chance)* |
| You gain 42.5 <substat>. |
Notes
- This monster cannot be copied.
History
- Around September 23, 2014 the word "whore" in the introduction text was changed to "virago".
