Stuffing Golem
| Stuffing Golem | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 315 |
| Locations | Appears about every 30 adventures on Feast of Boris |
| Hit Points | 75% of Player HP |
| Attack | Player's Buffed Moxie - 3 |
| Defense | Player's Buffed Muscle - 3 |
| Initiative | 100 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | construct |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg |
| Drops | single-serving herbal stuffing (below level 7), herbal stuffing (level 7 and above) |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a Stuffing GolemThis is a golem composed entirely of bread cubes, herbs, and celery soaked in turkey broth. At least it doesn't have apple slices in it -- man, that's nasty.
Hit Message(s):
It slices your <head> with its celery claws. With celerity. Oof! Ooh! Ow!
It slams one heavy, soggy-bread-fist into your <head>. It's like being hit by a truck made out of wet sponges. Oof! Ugh! Oof!
It beats the stuffing out of you, which is fairly ironic. Oof! Ugh! Ugh! Argh! Ouch!
It hits you with the top of a stove. Where did it even get that thing? Ow! Oof! Ouch!
It scratches at you with its celery claws, but they've gone limp. You tell him to wait a half hour and try again.
It kicks you with one leg, but soggy bread is not the most effective weapon.
It tries to beat the stuffing out of you, but has to stop and ponder the irony.
It rears back a fist to hit you, but a wandering hippy eats the fist. Like, wow, man. That hippy was, like, really hungry, man. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: single-serving herbal stuffing |
 | You acquire an item: herbal stuffing |
| You gain some <substat>. |
Occurs on the Feast of Boris at normal adventure locations.
Notes
- This monster was originally very weak, yielding only 1 substat, but now it scales to your stats.
- Single-serving herbal stuffing only drops for characters below level 7, and herbal stuffing only drops for those at or above level 7. Avatars of Boris will receive single-serving herbal stuffing no matter their level.
- This monster cannot be copied.
References
- "Celerity" means quickness, or swiftness of motion.
- The critical hit message refers to Stove Top stuffing, the first variety of instant stuffing.
- The miss message involving celery going limp is a reference to the male sexual refractory period.
