Talk:The Haunted Kitchen
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Monsters encountered:
a zombie chef
a paper towelgeist
a demonic icebox
a skullery maid
a possessed silverware drawer
--Asturia 00:47, 20 September 2006 (CDT)
Items found here:
- bottle of popskull (from skullery maid)
This is a bottle of very, very low-grade booze. Apparently the skullery maids needed a little help escaping from the tedium of their jobs, and the proper function of their livers.
I wonder what you'd get if you combined popskull with rotgut. Probably some kind of really nasty snake.
Type: booze
Selling Price: 35 Meat.
Gave me 3 adventures, -2 health points and 2 drunkenness
- leftovers of indeterminate origin (from demonic icebox)
This is a plastic container of leftovers so old that you're afraid to even open it to see what's in it. You find yourself considering the value of the container, trying to determine if it'd be acceptable to just throw it away instead of washing it.
Type: combat item
Selling Price: 35 Meat.
- ancient frozen dinner (from demonic icebox)
This is a frozen dinner so old that it's mostly just a foil tray full of freezerburn. You briefly consider adopting "Freezerburn" as your superhero name, but decide against it.
Type: food
Selling Price: 30 Meat.
- chef's hat (I have spent hundreds of adventures here and never once got this hat.) -Hedonia
- fricasseed brains (from zombie chef)
This is a pan full of delicious brains, chopped up and mixed with a savory white sauce by a zombie chef. You're trying very hard not to speculate on the origins of the sauce.
(Cooking ingredient)
Type: food
Selling Price: 20 Meat.
- stale baguette (from zombie chef)
This is like a stale bag, only smaller. No, not really. It's a long, thin, and very old loaf of bread. Have you ever noticed how whenever anybody on television or in a movie is about to get mugged, they're always carrying a bag of groceries with one of these sticking out of it? I wonder if there's anything to that.
Type: food
Selling Price: 25 Meat.
- cardboard katana (from paper towelgeist)
This is a katana made of cardboard. Well, it's actually just the cardboard tube from inside a giant roll of paper towels, but you're pretending it's a katana. It'll be useful for when you're wrapping a t-shirt around your head and pretending you're a ninja.
Type: weapon (1-handed sword)
Power: 30
Selling Price: 35 Meat.
Enchantment: Melee Damage +2
- corn holder (from possessed silverware drawer)
This is one of those little handle things you use to eat corn on the cob. Since you've only got one of them, though, you'll probably be limited to half-ears of corn. Or maybe you could hold the corn straight up, instead of horizontally. But then you'd get butter all over your hand. Yeah, this sucks.
Type: weapon (1-handed utensil)
Power: 20
Selling Price: 25 Meat.
Enchantment: Spell Damage +1
Slarty de 02:07, 20 September 2006 (CDT)
- eggbeater (from possessed silverware drawer)
You know what they say: You can beat your friends, and you can beat your eggs, but you can't beat your friends' eggs. Actually, I guess they don't say that. And it's a good thing, 'cause if they did, it wouldn't be true. Now that you've got this, there's no egg you can't beat.
Type: weapon (1-handed utensil)
Power: 25
Selling Price: 30 Meat.
Enchantment: Spell Damage +2
- diashrag (from skullery maid)
This is a rolled-up dishrag, soaked with hundred-year-old dishwater. You almost feel guilty about hitting anything with it. Almost.
Type: weapon (1-handed whip)
Power: 20
Selling Price: 25 Meat.
Enchantment: Stench Damage +3
--Veistran 02:48, 20 September 2006 (CDT)
- brains casserole (clover adventure)
This is a piping-hot casserole made with delicious brains. Both in the sense of having required cognitive effort to figure out the recipe, and being composed of actual brains.
Type: food
Selling Price: 35 Meat.
--cor nocae 02:15, 20 September 2006 (CDT)
Clover Adventure
Adventure Results: Nicebox
In the Haunted Kitchen, you find one of those weird refrigerators with the demonic scribblings on the outside of it. Unlike the others, though, this one doesn't seem to be actively trying to kill you.
You cautiously approach it, and see that it seems to have come unplugged. Lucky you! Must've been recent, too, because the fridge's contents are still cold!
Your ten-leaf clover disappears in a puff of smoke.
You acquire an item: brains casserole
You acquire an item: leftovers of indeterminate origin
You acquire an item: ancient frozen dinner
--Practitioner of Saucy Arts 02:27, 20 September 2006 (CDT)
The Leftovers do around 5 stench damage, I think. -Madalin
If your too weak to get in you get
As you reach for the door to the Haunted Kitchen, you hear a ghostly moaning coming from the other side. You once saw a bumper sticker that said "If the kitchen's a moanin', don't be a-goin' in," and you decide that you should maybe heed that advice until you get a little tougher. . (You must have at least 5 Mysticality to adventure here.)
--LoA 15:31, 21 September 2006 (CDT)
Upon wearing 3 Porquoise Bracelet on 10/25/2012
Get Any Key to Continue
You enter the kitchen as usual, but are struck by something -- the refrigerator. Normally it makes a lot of noise, but it seems to have gone silent at your approach. The bracelets on your wrist vibrate as you draw nearer to the fridge.
Acting on a hunch, you hunch over and look under it. You see something... strange. It is not a key, but the only thing stopping it from being a key is the fact that it is not a key, if you catch my meaning.
You decide that this conceptual absence of a key might come in handy, so you figuratively grab it and stuff it into one of your imaginary pockets.
Note: This is not an item, it's an event, but it changes the messages. --Andyzero 08:45, 25 October 2012 (CEST) --Andyzero 08:45, 25 October 2012 (CEST)
New quest thing
Texts I've gotten:
1st paragraph:
(Hot, +12?)
The kitchen's resident flame-belching demon oven kicks into serious overdrive, but you manage to tolerate the heat long enough to search through 4 drawers.
(Stench, -3)
The garbage disposal turns itself on, filling the kitchen with an indescribably foul odor, but you manage to tolerate it long enough to search through 0 drawers.
2nd paragraph:
To add insult to injury, you don't find the key, just <item> and <item>.
(Found key)
Fortunately, you find the key, in the last drawer you check. Isn't that always the way? (Yes, because why would you keep looking after you found it? Sheesh.)
 | You acquire an item: Spookyraven billiards room key |
Items:
- an old bottlecap
- half a pair of dice
- a rusty butterknife
- a rusted-shut pair of scissors
- a bent fork
- a flashlight lightbulb
- a chewed-up pencil stub
Drawers opened w/ X resist: (I'm guessing it's square root of resist)
- < 0: 0
- 0: 1
- 1: 2
- 2: 2
- 3: 2
--JohnAnon (talk) 06:40, 15 May 2014 (UTC)
It doesn't look like square root, and I think it maxes out at 4. I got 4 at 9 resistance and also at 25.--MogamboRanger (talk) 17:12, 15 May 2014 (UTC)
I also got 4 at 60 hot resistance. --Handhand (talk) 17:20, 15 May 2014 (UTC)
I have 7 resistance across the board (in an Ed run), and up until today that always got me 4 drawers - today it was mostly 3 drawers, with one of them 4 (and no changes in resistance) -- JaAchan (talk) 06:31, 10 April 2015 (UTC)
A few more data points:
- 7: 3
- 8: 3 (though this one finished the quest for me, so I'm not sure)
- 9: 4
--Ailuro Dragon (talk) 19:14, 15 May 2014 (UTC)
- a bent fork
- a broken corkscrew
- a bunch of old, dried-out rubber bands
- a burned-out antique light bulb
- a coffee can full of teeth
- a couple of dead batteries
- a coupon for a kind of hair pomade they haven't made for 25 years
- a depleted ball-point pen
- a few soggy Pogs
- a flashlight lightbulb
- a fork with two tines missing
- a handful of receipts
- a handful of salt
- a human ear
- a lead fishing weight
- a little pile of mouse bones
- a mouse skull
- a pair of fingernail clippers
- a pair of rusty pliers
- a pen from a car dealership
- a pile of assorted screws
- a rubber tarantula
- a rusted mousetrap
- a rusty butterknife
- a tangled-up piece of old and yellowed twine
- a two-headed quarter
- a used bandaid
- a wooden nickel
- an ashtray stolen from a hotel
- an empty cigarette lighter
- an empty cooking sherry bottle
- an expired coupon for a store that burned down sixty years ago
- an old bottlecap
- an old deck of cards with several cards missing
- an old warranty card
- four empty matchbooks
- half a pair of dice
- half a raw umber crayon
- several antique beer can pull tabs
- some rusty nuts and washers
- the key from a rusty sardine can
- the top of a beer bottle
Would seem to require 20-something drawers?^Blargh (talk) 10:05, 29 May 2014 (UTC)^
Monster Level / Moxie required
Are the values given here (3-5 ML, 15 Moxie for safe adventuring) out of date? I got defeated twice in the first turn with no ML modifiers and 18 Moxie. Arancaytar (talk) 13:11, 5 December 2014 (UTC)
