The Beefhemoth
| The Beefhemoth | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1292 |
| Locations | The Nightmare Meatrealm |
| Hit Points | 1000 |
| Attack | 300 |
| Defense | 300 |
| No-Hit | 310 |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | 400-600 |
| Phylum | beast |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, leg, tail, torso |
| Drops | None |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting The BeefhemothYou hear a thunderous squelching coming from beyond a nearby hillock piled with pork boulders. You mount the meaty tor, and see the source of the sound -- a distant, massive, lumbering behemoth, plodding its way through the endless expanse of flesh. It's... well, it's beautiful, in its own weird, meaty way.
You hop on a bologna horse and ride for what seems like six hours before you get to it. You get up on its foot, then climb up its leg, hop over to one of its big fists, climb up past its elbow and across its shoulder onto the middle of its back.
Time to die, majestic force of nature!
Hit Message(s):
The beefhemoth raises its massive arm to scratch its face, and you get pinched between two of its shoulder bones. Ouch! Oof! Argh!
The beefhemoth sneezes, and the recoil catapults you off of its back and onto a nearby pepperoni cactus. Oof! Ow! Ugh!
You fall off the meaty colossus, landing in its shadow. It's cold! Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)
The beefhemoth opens its mouth, and after what seems like an eternity, releases a massive belch. The air quavers visibly as the belch rises to where you are. Bleeaugh. Ow! Ouch! Argh! (stench damage)
The beefhemoth continues to plod slowly along, indifferent to your assault.
The beefhemoth pauses a moment to gaze longingly at the meat ceiling.
The massive creature kneels for a moment to inspect a nearby mutton tree.
The beefhemoth sheds a single glistening tear. (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 400-600 Meat (average: 500, stdev: 41.23)* |
Occurs at The Nightmare Meatrealm.
References
- The line about riding a horse and climbing on the Beefhemoth is a reference to the game Shadow of the Colossus, as is its shadow attack.
