When playing the special challenge path of 11 Things I Hate About U, the text from the Council of Loathing avoids using the letter "u" (with a special exception for the player name).
- Welcome, Explorer. The first thing to do is to visit the Toot Oriole. He lives atop Mt. Noob, in the Big Peaks.
- After visiting the Toot Oriole, but before reading King Ralph's Note:
- Welcome, Newbie! It looks like there's something to take care of before we getting to work. Some mail to read, perhaps?
- After reading King Ralph's note:
- We don't have anything to do right now, Newb. Go explore a little, get some bearings, and come back later.
- Maybe check near Cobb's Knob, in the Nearby Plains.
- Or maybe a spooky Pantry is better -- find it inside Spookyraven Manor over on the Right Side of the Tracks.
- Another option is The Sleazy Back Alley, on the Wrong Side of the Tracks. (Keep that on the D-L)
- When no quests are available:
- Sadly, there are no more tasks needed by the Committee at this time.
- Come back later, when more experienced.
- Aaaahhh! No! Don't kill... oh wait, that's only a mask.
Quests
- We desire aid, Fellow. We need an insect larva. Don't ask why, since we won't tell. In any case, the best place to find a larva is in the Spooky Forest, which is located in the Distant Woods. We'll mark it on the map.
- We still need that larva. Please find one, in the Spooky Forest.
- When returning with the mosquito larva:
- Thanks for the larva.
- We've received word that the owner of the Typical Tavern, in the Distant Woods, is having a bit of a rat problem. We think he'll offer a reward to whoever takes care of it for him.
- The owner of the Typical Tavern is still facing his rat problems. Go help him!
- We have another task, Explorer. Please slay the Boss Bat. He lives in the deepest part of the Bat Hole, in the Nearby Plains. Slay him, and come back here with proof of victory.
The Boss Bat is not yet slain. He can be located in the Bat Hole, in the Nearby Plains.
- After defeating the Boss Bat:
- Well done! The Boss Bat is slain!
- We've gotten word that the Knob Goblins, who normally keep to themselves over at Cobb's Knob, are planning a major military action against Seaside Town.
- Go deep into the Knob, and slice this problem off at the neck, so to speak, by destroying the Goblin King.
- Spies have determined that there is a secret entrance that will allow access to the inside of the Knob. They recovered this map, except nobody knows how to read it.
- Discover how to decrypt the symbols on it and find that entrance. And be gentle with it. Many Bothans died to... oh, wait, never mind. That was something else.
- Before accessing the inside of the Knob:
- Find a way into Cobb's Knob, Wanderer. Try looking in the area near the Knob for something that might help to decode that map.
- After accessing the inside of the Knob:
- We still nee[sic] the Goblin King stopped!
- After defeating the Goblin King:
- Thanks for slaying the Goblin King, Hero.
- The Deep Fat Friars in the Distant Woods are having a problem -- one of the experiments has gone awry, and fey beasts have invaded their grove. Please, lend them assistance.
- The Deep Fat Friars still need assistance. They can be located in the Distant Woods.
- Recently, an[sic] feeling of extreme Spookiness has started to emanate from within the Cyrpt, near the Misspelled Cemetary. We fear that some horrible monster has taken residence there, and started to incite the local non-alive.
- Please be so good as to investigate? This device will help:
- The Spookiness still emanates from the Cyrpt. Find and destroy the origin, and bring back proof.
- After defeating the Bonerdagon:
- Aha! So the Spookiness was coming from this abominable monster, was it? Well, thanks, for that brave act of cleansing.
- We've received an[sic] distressed letter from the Trapper, wanting assistance. We, like, really kinda don't want to right now, so we were hoping to send someone else to his place and see what he wants.
- He lives at the base of Mt. McLarge-Something. We'll mark it on the map.
- Come on, deal with the trapper, please.
- Sorry to be a bother with this, Hero, except we've gotten a... shall we say... cryptic message from Black A. -- he's one of Loathing's minor nobles.
- We generally ignore him, except he was pretty agitated, and given the political climate we can ill afford to maintain that ignorance at this time.
- Go to his tower, in the Highlands. The Highlands are on the other side of the Orc Chasm. We'll mark it on the map.
- Mail for %playername%? Yeah, here it is.
- The Highland Lord, Black A., still needs help.
- Something is amiss, Explorer. The Nearby Plains are filling with giant piles of garbage, and despite the best efforts of the sanitation department, it keeps falling from the sky faster than we can collect it. We need someone to discover where it's coming from, and stop it.
- Please try to discover where this garbage is coming from, Hero! Perhaps a hint can be revealed by exploring the Nearby Plains.
- After completing the quest:
- We're not totally clean[sic] on what happened, Hero! The garbage finally stopped falling. Thanks a lot!
- Oh, by the way -- we grabbed this from the garbage when we were cleaning, and wondered there[sic] might have somthing[sic] to do with it.
 | You acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]] |
- Ah, %playername%, excellent timing. We've recently received a message from the Distant Lands -- a renowned archaeologist has gone missing. Apparently, his life's work was to track down an ancient relic known only as the Holy Mac-Something-Or-Other. He left behind his diary, with hints that it was to be delivered to someone, except he didn't leave any money to pay for shipping. So, go grab it.
- Travel there from the Travel Agency at The Shore. There's a slight hitch -- the area demands a passport for entry, and the passport offices are temporarily closed with a tiny photograph shortage. Grab some forged identification papers from the Black Market instead. We're not entirely aware of where the Black Market is -- it's probably near the Black Forest, and we'll mark it on a map.
- Once the diary is retrieved, Take the notes and track down the Holy Whatever. For reasons.
- Grabbed the diary and recovered the Holy thing yet? It's a pretty important whatchamacallit, so we'd appreciate it if that was done ASAP.
- After completing the quest:
- "Wow! That's the Holy MacWhatever, %playername%? That's pretty darn impressive -- well done! Now we can pack it in an wooden crate and stash it into secret storage, filled with similar crates somewhere where it's likely that no one will ever see it again. Thanks for the help! Have a parade!"
- quot;Thanks!." [sic]
- Exploer[sic], we have heard tell that something is brewing on the Island of Mystery. The hippies and frat boys are agitating for war. I mean, they've always been a little tense with each other, except now it's getting real. Yay!
- Go over there and start that war. We don't care how it starts and we don't care who wins, so there's basically no way to blow it, so long as nobody negotiate[sic] a peace accord. Try not to do that.
- Hey, managed to start the war on the Island yet? Maybe to get them really angry, try assassinating Franz Ferdinand. Historically, that tends to work.
- Excellent work! Finally those idiots are fighting each other. Now, let's end the war before vacation season. The war isn't going to help the economy.
- Get over there are[sic] bang some heads together.
- If it's too slow, try helping some of the other denizens of the island. What're the odds they are standing there waiting for someone to help with some random job before they join the battle?
- After defeating the hippies:
- Good job! The island is finally rid of those smelly hippies. The economy is going to boom now that they won't be stinking to high heaven!
- Now, if only there were something to do with the frat boys. Oh well, at least they make good margaritas.
- Take this and become a decorated war hero.
| You acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]] |
- After defeating the frat boys:
- Great work! Those darn bastard frat boys are gone. The economy is going to boom now that travelers don't have to deal with being forced to do beer bongs while being paddled. Now they can choose to be paddled or do a beer bong or both!
- Now if only there were something to do with the hippies. Oh well, at least they're mostly non-violent. Except to the sense of smell.
- Take this and become a decorated war hero.
| You acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]] |
- After defeating both sides:
- Nice work! Both sides are destroyed. No more stinky incense or sleazy lines. Maybe this means nobody wins.
- Well, except for everyone else. Take this memorial badge.
- Yo! We've recently received word that a wicked Sorceress is holding some sort of contest. We don't know what it means, except we know it doesn't mean anything good and we have decided that it is time to start on a final job. Find and destroy that sorceress, who has defiled these lands for so long, and free King Ralph XI, whom she has imprismed.
- Go forth to her Lair, east of the Nearby Plains! Beat her down!
- Be strong! Defeat the Sorceress, it's imperative! Her lair is east of the Nearby Plains.
- After completing the quest, but before freeing the king:
- "Good job, Nastiness Eraser! Peace has once again come to the land.
- Maybe go back to the top of the tower and free King Ralph? That'd be swell."
