The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave Entrance (Turtle Tamer)
You step into the cave and look around, which doesn't take very long. It's a much shallower cave than you anticipated, just barely deep enough that light from the entrance doesn't reach the rear wall.
As your eyes adjust to the dim light, you can make out some sort of engraving on the wall -- it looks like a crudely-rendered human figure with his or her arms and legs outstretched, surrounded by seven little doodles. Some of them have little sticky-out lines that look like legs? Maybe they're little animals? Honestly, it's hard to tell.
Beginning to feel suspicious, you search the wall more carefully. Aha -- just as you expected, there's a fine seam running down one side of the wall. There's also a small hole -- maybe four inches across -- at the bottom corner. You kneel down to look in it, but can't make anything out in the darkness.
Obviously, this is a secret entrance. But how to open it?
| Headbutt the wall. |
You rear back and slam your forehead into the wall. It makes a sound like GLONGGG!, but doesn't accomplish anything. Unless what you were actually going for was to give yourself a mild concussion.
Since that clearly didn't work, you decide you're tired of messing with this stupid wall; you further decide to stomp petulantly out of the cave and come back again later.
| Take a spirit vacation. |
You sit down on the floor and send your astral form to ask the ancient turtle spirits about this secret door. None of them have any idea what you're talking about.
Since that clearly didn't work, you decide you're tired of messing with this stupid wall; you further decide to stomp petulantly out of the cave and come back again later.
| Rub your leathery back against the wall. |
You rub your back against the wall for a bit. It feels good, I guess? You finally manage to get that itch that's been nagging you for a while, so well done. I assume that's what you were going for, since it doesn't seem likely that that would have actually opened the door.
Since that clearly didn't work, you decide you're tired of messing with this stupid wall; you further decide to stomp petulantly out of the cave and come back again later.
| Call on the Blessing of the War Snapper. |
You call forth the might and martial prowess of the War Snapper, and strike the wall with a succession of violent blows. When the dust clears, the wall hasn't budged an inch.
Since that clearly didn't work, you decide you're tired of messing with this stupid wall; you further decide to stomp petulantly out of the cave and come back again later.
| Sympathize with an amphibian. |
You look around and don't see any amphibians, but there is a small lizard sitting on a rock. "Hey buddy!" you say, giving it a thumbs-up. "How's it going?" The lizard blinks lazily at you.
After a rather one-sided conversation, the lizard eventually climbs down off of its rock and wanders into the little hole in the corner of the wall. There is a loud CLICK and the sound of stone grinding against stone, and the wall slowly swings open, revealing the entrance to an underground cavern.
| Enter the doorway. |
You step through the doorway, and down a narrow, sloping tunnel. Soon the tunnel opens into a large underground cave, lit here and there with phosphorescent fungi. The soft glow reveals long icicle-like stalactites and stalagmites, glittering crystalline formations, and other wonders of the underground world.
It also reveals two other things: a dark passageway on the other side of the cavern, and a number of large stumpy-legged mushroom creatures moving toward you with ill intentions in their beady little eyes.
Why isn't anyone ever happy to see you?
| Punch the wall open with your stiff upper lip. |
Slamming your face into a stone wall is a pretty terrible idea, but you try it anyway. Just in case it turns out to be a good idea after all, I guess?
It doesn't.
Since that clearly didn't work, you decide you're tired of messing with this stupid wall; you further decide to stomp petulantly out of the cave and come back again later.
| Conjure a ghostly shell. Near the wall. |
You conjure a shimmering ghostly shell around you, which will protect you if the wall suddenly comes to life and tries to attack you. You wait around for a while, but that doesn't happen.
Since that clearly didn't work, you decide you're tired of messing with this stupid wall; you further decide to stomp petulantly out of the cave and come back again later.
| Love pizza at the wall. |
You start thinking about pizza. "Oh man, I sure do enjoy pizza," you tell the wall. "Pizza is the perfect food. I would eat pizza for every meal, if I could. It is so good.
Honestly, the wall doesn't seem very interested.
Since that clearly didn't work, you decide you're tired of messing with this stupid wall; you further decide to stomp petulantly out of the cave and come back again later.
| Craft the wall into armor? I guess? |
You use the meatsmithing hammer that you probably have with you to smith the closed wall into an open wall. Or at least that's your intention, I guess? It really doesn't work.
Since that clearly didn't work, you decide you're tired of messing with this stupid wall; you further decide to stomp petulantly out of the cave and come back again later.
| Shell up. |
You crouch down and focus on your inner turtle, creating a protective barrier that shields you from the absolutely nothing that happens.
Since that clearly didn't work, you decide you're tired of messing with this stupid wall; you further decide to stomp petulantly out of the cave and come back again later.
| Shrug your shoulders and leave. |
You can't think of anything that might convince the wall to open. With a shrug, you turn and head back out of the cave. Maybe the guy back at the guild will have some useful insight. I mean, you never know, right?
Occurs at The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave.
Notes
- Buttons only show if you have the related skill
- Only the skills up to level 5 get a button
- Each failed attempt costs an adventure
