The Investigation Continues (2)
RE: Missing: Fancy Man
You finally make it to Jeff's mine, but not only is there no sign of Jeff, there's no sign of anyone. The whole scene is eerily silent, and it seems... colder than it ought to be.
You get the feeling you're gonna be sending some bad news back to Jeff's family.
| ??? |
You steel your nerves, check your iron, say a brief prayer to Mercury, and head inside. But not before grabbing a nugget of silver from a nearby minecart. You're never too scared to be acquisitive.
 | You acquire an item: nugget of nicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of quicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of sicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of slicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of thicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of ticksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of wicksilver |
RE: Help! Desperados!
After a long hard day of riding and shooting and reloading and shooting some more while continuing to ride, you arrive at the abandoned mine. The sign out front says:
WARNING: DARK & TWISTY MAZE OF TUNNELS, POSSIBLY HAUNTED
ALSO BEARS
and bandits
Man if it's not one thing it's another.
Here's another: somebody left a sack of meat at the mine entrance. Guess it was one of the bandits dropping off Pecos Dave's share? It's nice to see that even animals recognize that some meat isn't for eating.
| Welp, better get to it. |
You find a parking space for your horse, light a lantern, and head into the mine. You get lost instantly, and start wandering through the tunnels at random.
 | You gain 2,500 Meat. |
RE: Missing:Pioneer Daughter
In the innermost sanctum of Bloodmilk Cave, you find the leader of the local branch of the cow cult. You bull-rush him before he gets a chance to react, and pin him to the cave wall. "Where is Daisy?" you demand. He cringes but doesn't answer.
You draw your gun (assuming for dramatic purposes that you have one.) "I'm not gonna ask a third time. Where's Daisy?"
Shuddering, he points to a crudely drawn map on a nearby table before lapsing into unconsciousness.
| Look at the map |
The map features Bloodmilk Cave at the bottom and a crude drawing of some palisades at the top, labeled "DAISY'S HELL-FORTRESS." Various Xes and lines seem to represent contingency plans against potential attacks on the cave. Hmm. Looks like it's time to pay Daisy a visit.
 | You acquire 2 bottles of tainted milk |
 | You acquire 3 rotting beefsteaks |
 | You acquire 2 bottles of firemilk |
RE: Big Gambling Tournament Involved
With the herd of snake thinned out a bit, you find another gambler who hasn't succumbed to the venom and get him to give you a boost to reach one of the torches on the walls. With the fire to keep the snakes at bay, you and the other survivors manage to find the tunnel they used to drag your unconscious bodies into this pit. The door is locked, of course, but some judiciously-placed kicks bring it down. A half-dozen or so of you emerge blinking into the sunlight, dragging a few others that might still be able to be saved. "Get these men to the doctor," you tell one of the other gamblers.
"Well 'course," he says. "But what're you gonna do?"
| "I'm gonna go have a little parley with our buddy Glenn." |
"Huh," the gambler snorts. "Parley him one for me, too."
You march back to the Great Western, and discover a number of tough-looking gunmen hanging around in the lobby. They all turn when you enter, then nod at one another. Looks like Snake-Eyes had himself a backup plan.
"Well congratulations," one of them drawls at you. He throws a bag at your feet. "Glenn said t'give this to anyone shows up, as a consolation prize. And if ya know what's good fer ya, you'll go console yerself somewhere out of town."
| You gain 5,000 Meat. |
RE: Haunted Boneyard
"Boooooo!" says a ghost. "Knock it off! We're the victims here!"
"Uh," you reply. "What?"
"It's not our fault that we're forced to haunt this graveyard!" it says. "None of us who've been buried here can get any rest!"
"Why's that?"
"This cemetery was built over top of a much older cemetery, a cow burial ground! Used t'be no problem, on account of the cow spirits were long gone, but some band of crazy whattayacallems came and dug down to one of the ancient tombs, and they've been praying to wake something up! That were bad enough, but now there's this ghostly moooooing, and it's driving us all crazy!"
| "All right, I'll go an' have a look." |
"Thank y'kindly, stranger!" the ghost says. "Them fellers've been going into that old tomb right over there." You find the old tomb -- the door is unlocked, and next to the stairs leading down into the earth and the ancient forgotten tombs underneath, you find a can of black beans -- a sure sign of dark magic. Looks like cultists all right.
 | You acquire an item: Frigid Northern Beans |
| You acquire an item: Hellfire Spicy Beans |
| You acquire an item: Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans |
| You acquire an item: Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans |
| You acquire an item: World's Blackest-Eyed Peas |
RE: Sheriff Wanted
You finally make it to the cave the merchants told you about, on the shore of scenic Placid Lake. So far it's true to its name, and you don't seem to have alerted the bandits to your presence. Let's try to keep it that way, shall we?
| Head inside. Quietly. |
As you enter the cave, you trigger a tripwire connected to what sounds like about a thousand tin cans and cowbells. Oh well. So much for the silent approach.
You notice a decent-looking set of spurs amongst piles of noisy metal, and grab them. When in Rome...
 | You acquire an item: jangly spurs |
RE: Madness at the Mine
Unfortunately, you catch up to the mine foreman too late. Too late for him, anyway. His desiccated husk is lying in the open desert, and the buzzards squawk and grumble when you shoo them away from what's left of his face.
Around his neck, you find a chain of some odd silvery metal, and on the chain is a strangely-shaped key of the same material -- the same material, if you're any judge, as the door in the mine. You take the chain as carefully as you can, not wanting to disturb the foreman's body.
"He is waiting," he says.
| NGAAAA |
It takes a full minute before you can move again and pick yourself up off the ground. The buzzards, returning to their meal, give you funny looks.
He's dead. He's definitely dead. You just imagined it. Been out in the desert too long, need to get somewhere cool. Shady. Somewhere nice and cool and shady and underground. Yeah.
You head back to the mine, and once inside, you feel better already. You even find a couple lumps of silver ore! It's your lucky day! Now you just have to find your way back to the door.
All the miners seem to have ran away, so at least you won't have to deal with them any more. However...
| You acquire an item: nugget of nicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of quicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of sicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of slicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of thicksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of ticksilver |
| You acquire an item: nugget of wicksilver |
RE: Missing: Many Children
There is a shudder and a squeal of brakes as the train lurches to a halt. You make your way to the nearest door, and pause. You're afraid.
| Swallow your fear and disembark |
You get off the train into a... well, let's call it a swirling Hell-vortex. It sort of looks like the village you left, but the colors are inverted, and so are up and down, about half of the time.
You reel backwards and collapse against the side of the train. You hear a creaking sound and look up to see a wooden sign hanging from rusty chains reading "WELCOME TO COWTOWN."
You feel something hard under your hand. Oh. A cow skull. Of course.
 | You acquire an item: silver cow skull |
 | You acquire an item: shuddering cow skull |
RE: Wagon Train Escort Wanted
Well, that's that little invasion taken care of. The Hackletons, surprisingly, handled themselves quite well. Not a one of them panicked, and though you've seen better shots, they wasted less ammo than you'd've expected. Granny in particular seems to know her way around a rifle. They must be used to picking off coyotes that stray too near the livestock. Anyway, the sun's about up anyway, so you all pack the wagons back up and prepare to hit the road. The rest of the trip is uneventful and you arrive at your destination in the early afternoon. It's a town called Rustneck, which doesn't seem much different from Dirtwater honestly, but there's no accounting for taste. You approach Granny as she's overseeing her kin unloading the wagons, and ask for your payment. She hands you two large cans of beans.
"Are you kidding me?" you growl.
"We agreed on two large, and that's what I gave ya!" she cackles. "Now shove off, less'n you intend to make something of it!" Several of her larger sons and nephews are watching closely, so you mutter angrily to yourself and clop off on your horse.
| Gol-darn rassa-frassin'... |
As you're heading out of town, you happen to pass the post office, where one of the postmen is tacking a stack of fresh WANTED posters to the notice board. There's an awful lot of them, and they all look rather familiar. The whole dang Hackleton clan is wanted for bank robbery, banditry, smuggling, and a whole list of other crimes. Those dirty no-good... you knew they looked shifty! You grab Granny's poster off the wall and turn your horse around.
She grimaces when she sees you coming, and doubly so when she sees the paper in your hand. "Hellfire!" she growls. "An here I thought we got away clean. Well, you can forget any chance at a reward, kid," she cackles at you. "Not when I got my whole family here!"
| You acquire an item: Frigid Northern Beans |
| You acquire an item: Hellfire Spicy Beans |
| You acquire an item: Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans |
| You acquire an item: Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans |
| You acquire an item: World's Blackest-Eyed Peas |
Occurs after winning ? fights while Investigating a Plaintive Telegram.
