The Thing with No Name
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There are some vague or non-exact figures and information on this page. Some spading is required.
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| The Thing with No Name | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1143 |
| Locations | An Altar |
| Hit Points | 1000 |
| Attack | 200 |
| Defense | 225 |
| No-Hit | 210 |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | humanoid |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | green eggnog, green hamhock, The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants, Ghost Pinching Quarterly, The Snitch's Manifesto |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting The Thing with No NameThe Thing with no Name sits quite still. He just sits!
Before he begins to do something, he quits.
He's only defined by the things he won't do:
The eggs he won't eat and the ham he won't chew.
He won't move a muscle! He won't even teeter!
What's worse is he won't even follow the meter:
"I will not eat them in a lake! "I will not eat them with a snake! "I will not eat them on a bike! "I will not eat them with a pike!"
See his wretched refusal to rumpty-tum-tum!
Please do me a favor and roundhouse this bum!
Hit Message(s):
He will kick you in the face!
He will kick you into space!
Eek! Argh! Argh!
He will not hit you in the eye!
But he will hit you in the thigh!
Eek! Ooh! Ugh!
He will not hit you in the knee!
He'll hit your eye, so you can't see!
Eek! Ooh! Eek!
He will not kick you in the junk!
Wait, he will kick you in the junk!
Ooh! Ugh! Oof!
He will hit you on the knee, and on a plane, and in a tree!
He will hit you like an ox! He will hit you with a fox!
He will hit you with a mace! He will hit you in the face!
He will hit you very hard! He is going to punch your card!
Ouch! Ooh! Ow!
He will not kick you in the junk!
He will not kick you with a punk!
He will not kick you in the face!
He will not kick you out in space!
He will not hit you in the knee!
He will not hit you in a tree!
He will not hit you in the face, or on your knee, or with a mace,
Or in the thigh, or with a stoat, or in the eye, or on a boat! (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire some glasses of green eggnog |
 | You acquire some green hamhocks |
 | You acquire an item: The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants |
 | You acquire an item: Ghost Pinching Quarterly |
 | You acquire an item: The Snitch's Manifesto |
Victory text:
- The Thing with no Name is destroyed. Way to go!
- But there's something that's happening that you should know,
- For the Altar of Dis has emerged where he stood,
- And it looks like it maybe could do you some good.
- Now there's just two places for you to put stones,
- You should find some more stones in Suburbian[sic] zones!
Occurs at An Altar.
Notes
- The Thing appears to have about 50% physical and elemental resistance (not confirmed).
- Combat messages are displayed normally in this fight - they do not use the anapest combat scheme.
- The Thing will sometimes block the use of items with the message:
- The item you tossed just collapsed to the floor,
- "I can't do it!" it moans, "It's too much of a chore!"
- This fight's getting tough! Do you think you should yield?
- This Thing is projecting an Apathy Field!
- Current spading indicates the specific consumables dropped are random, but the number of consumables is based on the number of combats spent in The Suburbs of Dis, including any free runaways. Note that this drop count does not include the skill item (codex/quarterly/manifesto).
11? or fewer combats 25 or fewer combats 26-50 combats 51-75 combats 76 or more combats 5 consumables 4 consumables 3 consumables 2 consumables 1 consumable
- Immune to multi-round stunning, but can still be staggered, provided the item isn't blocked.
References
- The Thing is a reference to the unnamed character in Green Eggs and Ham, who repeatedly insists that he does not like the titular dish.
