There's a Wizard in My Gizzard
You wake from confusing dreams of a life you are sure is not your own. You are <Playername>, the adventurer, but in your dreams you were the mightiest mage the world has ever known. Comets bent their trajectories at your whim; you could turn lead into gold and halibut into copper; you could do anything but get a date on a Saturday night.
You sit up and feel a sense of vertigo. You feel like your arms and legs should be longer than they actually are, and your adenoids feel stuffed and open at the same time.
| What's going on? |
"What's going on? I feel--" you say aloud, but then a different voice interrupts you. It's coming out of your mouth, but it's high and whiny, sniveling and snarky: "Let's get this over with, since you clearly are out of your depth. You wisely chose the Avatar of Jarlsberg for this incarnation in the Kingdom of Loathing. You are possessed of the wisdom of the world's mightiest mage, the greatest mind of his or any age, the sorcerer spoken of in hushed tones as Jarlsberg the Magnificent. In other words, me. My ghost lives within you, and my power is your power."
| So What Do I Do Now? |
The whiny voice continues, condescension dripping from every syllable. "Go forth into the Kingdom, you dolt, and learn to control the mystic forces of the universe as only I could! You'll find my second-best hat under your sizeable posterior (wash it before you wear it! It probably has germs all over it!), as well as the key to my statue. Maybe you should visit there to get a clue; looks like you need one." "Wow. I'm really, really looking forward to spending hours of my time working for your greater glory," you say, sighing, "I'll do my very best to be all you expect me to be."
"That shouldn't be too hard," Jarlsberg sniffs, "I'm not expecting much."
 | You acquire an item: Jarlsberg's hat |
 | You acquire an item: Jarlsberg's key |
Occurs upon starting the Avatar of Jarlsberg challenge path
