User:Keypunch

History

Keypunch (ID# 30036) is a player that originally started the game as a wee young Disco Bandit. Happily playing along and snorting on the monitor every other adventure, he decided the Kingdom was a great anti-MMORPG, he would like to stay part of. His only regret was that he hadn't chosen the path of the Turtle Tamer, because familiars were the coolest and cutest part of the game, he had decided. After the gameplay part was exhausted (no The Naughty Sorceress, in those days), he focused on economics and meat-farming. Proficiently playing the Little paper umbrella and Ice-cold beer market, his store was the first place you should go for a cold one.

After Black Sunday struck and he missed out on it, he temporarily abandoned the game for other pursuits, but decided to see if his character(s) still stood during a rather dull visit with his parents on Crimbo Day 2004. Enamoured by the Crimbo Elf and with the aftermath of Black Sunday worn down, he started playing again with a vengeance. In the following months, Keypunch became known as a /trade regular, doing well by providing fair prices and focusing on mass fur-trading for the Icy Peak farmers, with the occasional dabbling in consumables. He tried to help maintain a proper etiquette amongst traders, by providing a complimentary bottle of Fine wine to any auction winner, regular fur-supplier or simply those that offered a good trade. The trader clan Midnights Rocks soon invited him.

With the introduction of Ascension and the consequent inability to trade or advantage of being in a clan, he clan-hopped for a while, visiting established and newbie clans alike. The /foodcourt-dominating clan of Fluffymuffin Cocobutter Number 1 Lucky 888 Clan (of Quality) provided a temporary, warm and loving home, until an invitation from Noblesse Oblige arrived. Unable to resist the tempting sweet-talk of clan leader Bashy, he has honoured the invitation and tries to live up to the clan's credo.

Chat

Just before the trade chat was split up in /trade and /foodcourt, Keypunch was added to the chat moderating squad. He learnt of this fact after coming home from a night on the town and logging in for some late-night chatting. Consequently, his first ban ever (to a chat flooding spammer) was dealt out while under the influence. Being geographically situated in Europe, he often was the single moderator available and got to know and learned to love the other channels that way. Especially /normal and /newbie are places are places he has fond feelings for. The haiku channel, as with a number of other moderators, has become a retreat to get away from the hustle-and-bustle of the busy open chats.

Wealth

Having missed out on Black Sunday, Keypunch's wealth has been generated through history by four distinct sources.

- General trading and farming.

In the beginning, the larger part of Keypunch's wealth was generated by smartly speculating and playing the market, supplemented by spending all turns on the Icy Peak, with a high-level Leprechaun with Lucky Tam O'Shanter.

- Emo Roe

Knowing the ways of the market and the value of unique items, Keypunch speculated that the emo roe would become expensive real quick, so invested to buy two. One for himself and one for the market. It was later bought by Allessindra, for a high, but forth-coming price.

- Plunger Bug

Being a bit of an absent-minded butterfinger boy from time to time, Keypunch literally stumbled upon a bug with The Plunger in the post-ascension content. The bug allowed him to duplicate a million asshats. After the collection had appeared on the leaderboards, he sold them for an undisclosed, but large, sum to ashamalee, in whose possession the collection has last been seen. The Bugfinder Blade is safely in his own possession.

- Donations

Being of the opinion that the Kingdom of Loathing is a great way to spend time. More-so than "serious" MMORPG's, Keypunch is convinced it's worth it to donate at least $20 each month, especially considering the relative strength of the Euro currency. The thus acquired surplus of Mr. Accessory is used for investing in Familiars-of-the-Month, or simply directly sold for meat in The Mall of Loathing.

Other exploits

Keypunch distributed hundreds of Knob Goblin firecrackers to the chatters in /trade, on the day he was registered for 1 year.

Keypunch ascended on the day after Ascension was rolled-out, requiring only minor spoilers.

Keypunch sent several dozen of plain brown wrapped gift packages, from the Gift Shop, with nothing but the text "TICK. TICK. TICK." to various people. The packages contained 3 knob goblin firecrackers each.

Keypunch was able to reach the teetotal normal ascension leaderboards for both Sauceror and Pastamancer.

Keypunch set a new overall oxygenarian ascension record by using 11 Cans of Breathetastic Premium Canned Air, beating the previous record by 5 days.

Keypunch has eaten a radio button candy and drunk an Acqua Del Piatto Merlot.