User:Lord Fattypants
Lord Fattypants : Who is he?
There is a Lord in our Kingdom who is not as well known as you may think. Although he is a Lord and his pants are fat, you may be surprised at the information you are about to read. Remember, all of this story is true and none of it is made up or unrealistic. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Part 1: The Pants
One find day in the Kingdom of Loathing an adventurer just like you or me was strolling along the plains with his pet Mosquito, Skatter, in search of enemies to slay. Indeed, he found a pack of goblins having a cookout and gorging themselves on meat products. "A cookout? And they're having meat? I WASN'T INVITED??!?" The lack of an invitation to the cookout made the adventurer furious. So furious in fact he charged blindly into the scene, slaying goblins with his scimitar and grabbing meat freely. The goblins didn't stand much of a chance, and in 5 minutes all the goblins which were gobbling down meat so enjoyably were laying on the ground dead. Their meat in the pockets of the victorious adventurer who had abruptly slain them while enjoying a cookout. Maybe now I can afford that two-handed depth sword I've always wanted... thought the adventurer as he strolled along. The adventurer was too deep in thought to notice he was coming up to a very tall tower. He was so deep in thought he actually walked right into the wall of the tower. "OWWWW!" the adventurer yelped as he clutched his head. 
It seemed the tower rumbled a little as some sort of witch dressed in black levitated a few feet above the adventurer. "HOW DARE YOU ENTER MY DOMAIN!!! I'LL SHOW YOU NOT TO MESS WITH THE NAUGHTY SORCERESS!!!" she yelled at the adventurer. A very strange thing happened as the Naughty Sorceress displayed a flash of light that blinded the adventurer. The adventurer's pants were swelling! Every second it got bigger and bigger untill finally another flash of light and the poor adventurer's pants were too big to come off. How am I going to get these pants off?! They must be filled with something magical like...fat! Yeah they're filled with magical fat! That must be it! thought the adventurer.....
The Lord of Fat Pants
The adventurer immediatly left the plains and went straight to Seaside Town to visit the market in hopes of finding something to help his pants get less fat.
There he found the Market Demon who was busy selling cheap products and unused items to n00by adventurers.
"Yes yes GREAT stuff we got here great stuff - Hey you! Yeah you kid! I bet you don't have a terrarium for your campsite right? Am I right? Well look no further because we have some yes sir we do absolutely high quality Familiar Terrarium complete with a small pond, 3 tiny beds and a food dish all for just 500 meat sound interested kid of course you do!" said the Market Demon extremely fast to a VERY n00by adventurer. Psshh! Who would buy THAT junk? thought the adventurer. No way! He's actually buying it! and indeed that n00by adventurer was. The adventurer who had been watching came to his senses and approached the Market Demon slowly as not to surprise him. "Hey kid what's with your pants?" the Market Demon asked before the adventurer said anything. "Woah, kid! If you're looking for something to cure that I'm afraid I don't have anything suitable for those...er...FAT pants."
"But hey! I bet you don't have a terrarium of your very own do you kid? Hey kid where are you going this is a very high qual..." but the adventurer had already left the market in search for another person who could help him.
To Be Continued!
