VYKEA viking (female)
| VYKEA viking (female) | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1849 |
| Locations | VYKEA |
| Hit Points | 75% of Monster Defense |
| Attack | Player's Moxie+10 (Cap at 12500) |
| Defense | Player's Muscle+10 |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | cold |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | VYKEA instructions, VYKEA hex key, VYKEA woadpaint |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a VYKEA viking (female)Female viking warriors aren't subject to discrimination from their male counterparts, so this one doesn't really have anything to prove. But she's going to kill you twice as hard anyway, just because that's how she rolls.
This viking warrior is pretty buff -- she's not at all fat. And I wouldn't call what she's doing 'singing'. More like... howling. If she gets her way, though, the show will definitely be over for you.
This viking warrior decided to make up for her inability to grow a beard by growing her hair extra-long and putting it in about a dozen braids. Then she decided to step up her game even further and tie iron weights at the ends of her braids, so she could headbang people to death. Points for creativity, but she's going to need a neckbrace before long.
Near her you see a tall, dark bookshelf, filled with dusty and forbidding tomes. Specifically, they're forbidding you from staying alive and with your bones uncrushed.
Next to her looms a tall and forbidding bookcase, filled with all manner of evil tomes. And all the heaviest books are on the upper shelf, which is really dangerous.
Next to her there's a mahogany (actually mahogany-colored laminate) bookshelf, filled with dusty leatherbound tomes. They're probably written in terrible magical glyphs that drive you mad if you try to read them... or in Swedish, which amounts to the same thing.
Next to her you see a dishrack filled with garbage-encrusted dishes. Ugh. Aren't those things supposed to be for putting the dishes in after you've washed them?
Next to her you see a dishrack filled with, well, dishes. Gross, filth-covered dishes. Someone hasn't gotten around to the washing-up in weeks.
On the ground next to her is a bamboo-and-wire dishrack, filled with what could technically be called dishes, but you'd have to wash them like four times before you could risk actually eating off of them.
There's a cheap wooden dresser standing next to her, and by 'cheap' I mean 'tawdry'.
Next to her, there's a filthy, dirty wooden dresser. A filthy, dirty, bawdy, practically obscene wooden dresser.
There's a plywood-and-laminate dresser standing next to her, and you can tell just by looking at it and by the hopeless feeling in the pit of your stomach that it's filled with someone's dirty underwear.
There's a little endtable sitting next to her for some reason? I guess she was waiting a while and needed a place to set her coffee?
She has brought a little endtable, and if she has anything to say about it, it's going to be your end.
She seems to have brought a little endtable with her. Personally, if I were going to haul furniture around with me in this place, it'd be a chair, but to each her own, I guess.
She has a lamp, for some reason. And from the expression on her face, you're supposed to be intimidated by that. For some reason?
There's a lamp on the ground next to her. Where did she find an outlet to plug it in?
She has a lamp -- a lamp so bright, it kind of makes it harder to see. Which seems contrary to the purpose of a lamp.
Hit Message(s):
She chops off your <foot> with an axe. And then your <foot>. And then your <foot>, and... well, like her, I'll cut a long story short. Argh! Oof! Ow!
She guts you like a fish. Given the vikings' diet generally, she's extremely experienced in gutting fish. Ow! Eek! Ooh!
She spears you in the guts, and then guts you with her spear. Ooh! Oof! Ooh!
She skewers you on her spear. The hard way. By which I mean "the long way". (CRITICAL HIT!) Ugh! Ooh! Eek!
She tries to gut you like a fish, but her knife doesn't have one of those little scaler doohickeys on it.
She tries to spear you, but accidentally spares you instead. Stupid typos.
She uses her axe to chop off every part of your body, all at once. Or to put it another way, she misses you.
She charges at you, screaming her head off. By the time she gets to you, she's too out of breath to actually attack. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: VYKEA woadpaint (10% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: VYKEA hex key (1% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: VYKEA instructions (2% chance)* |
Occurs at VYKEA.
Notes
- Is accompanied by an animated piece of furniture, which attacks you separately, and has its own drops:
- You grab some of the spare parts left over from that horrible piece of furniture.
 | You acquire an item: VYKEA bracket (% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: VYKEA dowel (% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: VYKEA plank (% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: VYKEA rail (% chance)* |
- Companion not affected by item drop increases.
- Drops 1-3 dowel (avg ~2) and exactly 1 of bracket, plank, rail (not uniformly distributed)
- Image is one of the following:
- All Vykings are assisted by a randomly named piece of VYKEA furniture, which acts every round (unless the Vyking is stunned):
| Drone | Effect | Messages |
|---|---|---|
VYKEA endtable |
Deal ~50 physical damage, reduced by Damage Absorption |
|
VYKEA dresser |
Deal ~50 Sleaze damage, reduced by elemental resistance |
|
VYKEA dishrack |
Deal ~50 Stench damage, reduced by elemental resistance |
|
VYKEA bookshelf |
Deal ~50 Spooky damage, reduced by elemental resistance |
|
VYKEA lamp |
Deal ~50 Hot damage, reduced by elemental resistance |
|
