Werecougar

Werecougar
Monster ID	993
Locations	A Barroom Brawl
Hit Points	6
Attack	8
Defense	7
No-Hit	18
Initiative	50
Meat	12-18
Phylum	dude
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops	margarita, sangria, strawberry daiquiri, tequila with training wheels
Accordion	mama's squeezebox
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a werecougar

This is a large mountain cat which, by the light of a full moon, turns into a drunken middle-aged woman with a predilection for younger men.

Whatever moon governs her transformation is full now, which is good news and bad news for you. The good news is, you're not about to get your arm chewed off by a mountain lion. The bad news is, you're about to have to fend off some seriously inebriated on-hitting.

Hit Message(s):

She leans in close to whisper in your ear, but burps instead! Ick! Ugh! Eek! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

She rests her head on your shoulder, leaving greasy makeup all over you. Ow! Ooh! Ooh! (sleaze damage)

She kisses you square on the mouth. If the excessive lipstick didn't gross you out, her breath would do the trick. Ouch! Oof! Ooh! (sleaze damage)

She tries to slow-dance with you and steps on your instep instead. Yike! Ooh! Eek! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

She stumbles and falls into you, raking your shoulder with her big, fake nails. Great, now next full moon you're going to turn into a horny middle-aged woman. Even if you're already one. Argh!

Miss Message(s):

She leans in to whisper in your ear, but can't think of anything suitably seductive to say.

She tries to rest her head on your shoulder, but you step back, effectively giving her a cold shoulder instead.

She tries to kiss you, but you tell her to kiss off.

She tries to slow-dance with you, but you keep your distance.

Fumble Message:

She goes to the bar to get another eight or nine drinks. You wait while she tries to get some of the gentlemen at the bar to pay for them. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 12-18 Meat (average: 15, stdev: 1.58)*

You acquire an item: margarita (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: sangria (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: strawberry daiquiri (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: tequila with training wheels (10% chance)*

You gain 2 <substat>.

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Occurs in A Barroom Brawl

Notes

• If you are an Accordion Thief and haven't stolen an accordion from this monster today, this text is added to the introduction:

  In the werecougar's comically-oversized purse, hanging on a hook under her table, you notice an accordion.

• If you then cast Steal Accordion:

  You distract the werecougar long enough to snatch the squeezebox from her old leathery stretched-out bag.

  You acquire an item: mama's squeezebox