Wooof! Wooooooof!
"Woof! Wooooof!"
You look down at the strange but adorable wiener dog ghost that is trying to get your attention with hollow barks that seem to come from far away even though he's right there. He stands wobbily on his hind legs and waves his ghostly little arms at you. "WoooOOOooof!"
"What's the matter, <petname>?" you ask. "Is the barn on fire? Did Timmy fall in an open grave? Is life but a tiny flicker of light in the maddening darkness of eternity that makes our return to that darkness all the worse for comprehending what might have been and now will never be?"
"Wooof!" He runs in a little circle. Maybe he just wants some attention.
| Pet him | Get some stat points! |
You give <petname> a scratch behind the ears. Except for the way your fingers go numb, it doesn't feel like you're actually doing anything. The dog seems to appreciate it, though.
| You gain some Fortitude. |
| You gain some Magicalness. |
| You gain some Sarcasm. |
- or
<Petname>'s tail wags back and forth happily as you pet him a few times. And then you have to find a bathroom to wash the freezing cold slime off your hands.
| You gain some Strengthliness. |
| You gain some Mysteriousness. |
| You gain some Sarcasm. |
- or
You pat <petname> on the head a few times. He barks happily and stands up again, so you take his paws and dance with him for a bit. It's very cute.
| You gain some Muscleboundness. |
| You gain some Enchantedness. |
| You gain some Chutzpah. |
| Teach him some tricks | Get a temporary stat boost! |
You stoop down and extend a hand to the dog. "Shake, boy!"
The dog puts one of his paws in your hand, but it falls straight through. You think you can feel the bones in your hand freeze. "Okay, uh... good boy!"
"Wooof!" <petname> says, happily.
 | You acquire an effect: Adventurer's Best Friendship (duration: 30 Adventures) |
- or
"Okay, boy!" you say. "Play dead!" The ghostly dog look up at you and barks, panting happily. "You can do it! Play dead!"
"Arf!"
"Come on, you can... oh. Oh right, I guess you're already doing that, huh?"
"Arf!"
"Well, good job, <petname>! Good boy!"
| You acquire an effect: Adventurer's Best Friendship (duration: 30 Adventures) |
- or
"Sit!" you tell <petname>, and he sits up attentively and barks. "Wurf!"
"Good boy! Roll over!" He rolls over on the ground, leaving a faint smear of ectoplasm.
"Good boy! Speak!"
"Poltergeists make up the principal type of spontaneous material manifestation," he says.
"Okay, uh... good... good boy."
"Wurf!"
| You acquire an effect: Adventurer's Best Friendship (duration: 30 Adventures) |
| Throw a stick | Get some ghost dog food! |
You pick up a stick (without looking at it very closely in case it turns out to actually be a human bone, which seems to keep happening for some reason) and throw it for <petname> to chase. He runs off after it into the bushes (or applicable alternate scenery) and after a short time returns dragging what appears to be a large sack of dog food. That's very efficient! Good dog!
 | You acquire an item: Ghost Dog Chow |
Occurs at various locations, if you have a ghost dog.
Notes
- None of the choices consume an Adventure.
- The total substats gained from choosing "Pet him" starts at 10 and increases by 5 each time that choice is taken after the first. These substats are distributed randomly between Muscle, Mysticality, and Moxie.
| Pets | Substats Gained | Total |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 10 | 10 |
| 2 | 15 | 25 |
| 3 | 20 | 45 |
| 4 | 25 | 70 |
| 5 | 30 | 100 |
| 6 | 35 | 135 |
| 7 | 40 | 175 |
| 8 | 45 | 220 |
| 9 | 50 | 270 |
| 10 | 55 | 325 |
| 11 | 60 | 385 |
| 12 | 65 | 450 |
| 13 | 70 | 520 |
| N | 5 + 5N | 2.5N² + 7.5N |
References
- "Poltergeists make up the principal type of spontaneous material manifestation" is a non sequitur line famously spoken by the otherwise silent character Pup Dog in Walt Kelly's comic strip Pogo.
