Word Bucket/PenPalFunStoryAboutParents

This page contains a (currently incomplete) list of fun stories found in pen pal messages.

Current List

• My dad went a little crazy last night and painted my whole room golden. And I mean the *whole* room. So now my sheets are all stiff and everything smells like wet paint. Do you know how to get paint off of a video game? I'm seriously jonesing without my Star Steel 5 -- I mean, I just unlocked the variant Amethyst Mount before all this happened!
• My dad's trying to get me into tanning chickens, but I don't see the point. What a weird hobby! I'd rather be crocheting little green army men.
• Mom made flan for dinner again. Yuck! She said I couldn't go play Assassin's Fantasy 14 until I'd cleaned my plate, so I had to choke it down. When I grow up I'm just gonna eat Corn Zinc Ribbons for every meal!
• My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to run around in circles for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "Nothing ventured, the mice will play." I mean, what does that even mean?
• Mom kept pestering me to rake the floor while I was playing Modern Pirate 13 today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.
• My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of The Impossible Adventures of Mac Black vs. the Fire Aliens, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his spleen punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.
• After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some Gooey Orange Ropes and the new issue of The Startling Tales of Mikhail and the Ochre Goldthwait, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I mop the table. Darn. Darn it to heck.