You Better Work It
As you duck around another damned yurt in the hippy camp, you hear shouted commands coming from a nearby clearing. You head over and see a hippy crouching on a mat, giving instructions to a group of female hippies taking some kind of exercise class. They're all contorting themselves into bizarre positions, some of which seem to involve having many more joints than you do. Or maybe having smoked more joints than you have.
You grab a mat from a nearby pile and sit down next to one of the hippies. "What is this?" you ask.
"Oh, you've never done it before? This is pontiuspilates, an exercise regimen designed to relax you, bring your body into alignment, strengthen your core, and fracture your spine."
"Wait, what was that last one?"
"Ummm... align your chakras, I think. Since the men are all off training for war, we need to get into better shape so we can do our part on the home front. Anyway, you should try it! It's a good workout, man. Just don't forget to wash your hands afterward."
You stretch out on the mat and try to assume the poses the hippies are taking. They're curious poses, indeed. It's hard to hear the instructor's commands over the sound of your joints popping, sinews stretching, and bones fracturing, but you manage to get a good workout.
| You gain 70 Fortitude. |
Occurs at The Hippy Camp (Verge of War), undisguised.
References
- "Pontiuspilates" is a combination of Pilates, a form of physical and mental exercise similar to yoga, and Pontius Pilate, a Roman governor who is best known for presiding over the trial of Jesus.
- "Just don't forget to wash your hands afterward." is a reference to when Pilate washed his hands to symbolically absolve himself of Jesus' torture and death.
- Curious poses could be a brief reference to When Doves Cry by Prince.
