Zombie eXtreme Snowboarding Orc

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Zombie eXtreme Snowboarding Orc You're fighting a Zombie eXtreme Snowboarding Orc

In general, snowboarding is not the easiest thing to do. When you're a decomposing, reanimated corpse, it's even harder. Not to mention that no one will ride the ski lift with you. You should pity this busy monster, but you should also lay the smack down before it snowboards past and eats your brrrraaains.

Hit Message(s):

It snowboards past and slashes you with its fingernails. Ew, that's going to get infected. Oof! Eek! Ow! Eek!

It smacks you upside the head with its snowboard, then gnaws on your exposed brrraaaains. You forget that time you stood all alone in the moonlight. Argh! Eek! Argh! Ouch!

It snowboards toward you, then over you. Simple, but effective. Oof! Ooh! Ooh! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

It smacks you upside the head with the snowboard, but can't swing it hard enough to expose your tasty brrrraaains.

It tries to run you over with its snowboard, but can't seem to steer it with its decomposing legs.

It snowboards past and slashes at you, but loses its balance and tumbles down the mountain.

Fumble Message:

It smacks you upside the head with the snowboard, but can't swing it hard enough to expose your tasty brrrraaains. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat
You gain 32-48 Meat (average: 40, stdev: 3.65)*
You acquire an item: eXtreme mittens (? chance)*
You acquire an item: Mountain Stream soda (? chance)*
You acquire an item: snowboarder pants (? chance)*
You acquire an item: zombie pineal gland (? chance)*
You gain 15 <substat>.

Occurred at Wrong Side of the Tracks, 28 Days Later.

References

  • "Pity this busy monster" is a line from e. e. cummings' "pity this busy monster, manunkind."