View source for Gift-a-pult Messages (A-E)

The [[gift-a-pult]] allows various [[gift items]] to be used in combat.  Each item's combat message is preceded with "You load the <item> into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger."

===A===
*''[[all-purpose flower]]:''
{{useitem|item=all-purpose flower|text=Apparently, one of the flower's purposes is "laying the smack down to the tune of 206 damage."|type=combat}}
*''[[Amulet of Yendor]]:''
{{useitem|item=amulet of Yendor|text=The sharp points of its hash-marks pierce <it> for 10-12 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[angel-food cake]]:''
{{useitem|item=angel-food cake|text=Nothing's more delicious than an angel-food cake, and nothing does 2212 damage like a fallen-angel cake.|type=combat}}
*''[[anniversary balloon]]:''
{{useitem|item=anniversary balloon|text=A point of the diamond pierces him, then the balloon pops, for an impressive 54 damage. I guess diamonds aren't forever, after all.|type=combat}}
*''[[apathetic lizardman doll]]:''
{{useitem|item=apathetic lizardman doll|text=It kind of bops up against him and accidentally strangles him with its string for 588 damage. No biggie.|type=combat}}
*''[[arrow'd heart balloon]]:''
{{useitem|item=arrow'd heart balloon|text=The balloon misses him, but the arrow hits for 23589 damage.|type=combat}}

===B===
*''[[babycakes]]:''
{{useitem|item=babycakes|text=The cakes land on him, making him cry like a baby and doing 216 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[bag of airline peanuts]]:''
{{useitem|item=bag of airline peanuts|text=A snake pops out of it (a snake! It's a snake!) and surprises him for 10-12 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[beautiful soup]]:''
{{useitem|item=beautiful soup|text=The soup is even more beautiful as it flies through the air, and even more beautiful than that as it deals X damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[bejeweled cufflinks]]:''
{{useitem|item=bejeweled cufflinks|text=Your opponent catches them and spends an hour trying to rearrange the gems, somehow taking 40-50 damage in the process.|type=combat}}
*''[[better Than Cuddling Cake]]:''
{{useitem|item=better Than Cuddling Cake|text=It certainly does more damage to your opponent than cuddling would have done. Since cuddling only does emotional damage, I'd say it did about 100-125 points more.|type=combat}}
*''[[birthday party jellybean cheesecake]]:''
{{useitem|item=birthday party jellybean cheesecake|text=The cheesecake crashes into the ground, and the resultant explosion of birds, snakes, and aeroplanes does 12074 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[black-and-blue light]]:''
{{useitem|item=black-and-blue light|text=It glows at your opponent, making <it> think <it's> covered in bruises. <It> is so convinced that <it> actually takes 10-12 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[black candy heart]]:''
{{useitem|item=black candy heart|text=It proves to be a brave heart by choking your opponent for 10-12 damage. Freedom! |type=combat}}
*''[[black lotus]]:''
{{useitem|item=black lotus|text=<It> taps it for X damage, and you cut your foe some slack while <it's> getting its nerve back.|type=combat}}
*''[[blended frozen swill with a fly in it]]:''
{{useitem|item=blended frozen swill with a fly in it|text=The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes <it> for 10-12 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[blue plasma ball]]:''
{{useitem|item=blue plasma ball|text=It shatters against your opponent and the lightning escapes, shocking <it> for 10-12 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[blue velvet cake]]:''
{{useitem|item=blue velvet cake|text=The cake shatters, covering him for 617 suave damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[bouquet of circular saw blades]]:''
{{useitem|item=bouquet of circular saw blades|text=The saw blades do what saw blades were born to do, cutting him for 527 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[boxing-glove-in-a-box]]:''
{{useitem|item=boxing-glove-in-a-box|text=The box hurtles through the air toward your opponent. Just before impact, the boxing glove pops out, punching <it> for X damage.|type=combat}}

===C===
*''[[calle de miel with a fly in it]]:''
{{useitem|item=calle de miel with a fly in it|text=The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes <it> for X damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[cheap studded belt]]:''
{{useitem|item=cheap studded belt|text=A wannabe goth punk spots it flying through the air and leaps for it, stomping your opponent with his pleather thigh-high boots for 10-12 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses]]:''
{{useitem|item=chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses|text=It bonks him for 2021 points' worth of bad romance damage (ra ra ooh la la).
|type=combat}}
*''[[clown hammer]]:''
{{useitem|item=clown hammer|text=There's a flurry of squeaking noises, X damage, and then ominous silence.|type=combat}}
*''[[club necklace]]:''
{{useitem|item=club necklace|text=The chain lands around his neck, and the cheap metal gives him a rash for 23 damage. Too bad your opponent wasn't another adventurer.|type=combat}}
*''[[congratulatory cake]]:''
{{useitem|item=congratulatory cake|text=Congratulations! You just hit him for 1221 damage with a celebratory cake!|type=combat}}
*''[[Crimbo Candy Cookbook]]:''
{{useitem|item=Crimbo Candy Cookbook|text=The book bonks off of <it>, doing a sweet 1109 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[cymbal syrup]]:''
{{useitem|item=cymbal syrup|text=It spills out over your opponent, and the ensuing X damage is cymbally irresistible. ''*rimshot*''|type=combat}}

===D===
*''[[daisy]]:''
{{useitem|item=daisy|text=The pot smashes into him. He's half crazy, all for the love of 10 damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[deadly nightshade]]:''
{{useitem|item=deadly nightshade|text=He accidentally eats one of the leaves, and suffers 5330 poison damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[defective skull]]:''
{{useitem|item=defective skull|text=It says, "I deduce that I will survive this impact, and that it will do X damage." Looks like he was half right.|type=combat}}
*''[[designer handbag]]:''
{{useitem|item=designer handbag|text=A nearby fashionista leaps up to catch it and lands on your opponent, stomping <it> with a criminally expensive spiked heel for X damage.|type=combat}}
*''[[devil's-food cake]]:''
{{useitem|item=devil's-food cake|text=Your devils-food cake does hella damage. 5098 damage, to be precise.|type=combat}}
*''[[diamond necklace]]:''
{{useitem|item=diamond necklace|text=The chain lands around his neck, and the cheap metal gives him a rash for 23 damage. But it was totally the best rash, and the most damage, ever.|type=combat}}
*''[[double daisy]]:''
{{useitem|item=double daisy|text=The double-sized flower pot smashes into him before he can put up his dukes, doing 23384 damage.|type=combat}}

===E===
*''[[eggman noodles]]:''
{{useitem|item=eggman noodles|text=They hit your opponent for 119 damage. Goo goo goo joob!|type=combat}}
*''[[encoder ring]]:''
{{useitem|item=encoder ring|text=Vg uvgf sbe 10-12 qnzntr.|type=combat}}
*''[[exotic orchid]]:''
{{useitem|item=exotic orchid|text=Turns out it was a wild orchid, and bites him for 513 damage, in a soft-focus, smutty kind of way.|type=combat}}
*''[[explosion-flavored chewing gum]]:''
{{useitem|item=explosion-flavored chewing gum|text=It explodes in <its> mouth, or something similar to a mouth, and does X damage.|type=combat}}

==Notes==
*The [[encoder ring]] message decodes to:
:It hits for 10-12 damage.

{{GiftapultMessages}}

[[Category:Gift Items]] [[Category:Combat Items]]