The gift-a-pult allows various gift items to be used in combat. Each item's combat message is preceded with "You load the <item> into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger."
A
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| Apparently, one of the flower's purposes is "laying the smack down to the tune of 206 damage."
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| The sharp points of its hash-marks pierce <it> for 10-12 damage.
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| Nothing's more delicious than an angel-food cake, and nothing does 2212 damage like a fallen-angel cake.
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| A point of the diamond pierces him, then the balloon pops, for an impressive 54 damage. I guess diamonds aren't forever, after all.
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| It kind of bops up against him and accidentally strangles him with its string for 588 damage. No biggie.
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| The balloon misses him, but the arrow hits for 23589 damage.
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B
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| The cakes land on him, making him cry like a baby and doing 216 damage.
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| A snake pops out of it (a snake! It's a snake!) and surprises him for 10-12 damage.
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| The soup is even more beautiful as it flies through the air, and even more beautiful than that as it deals X damage.
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| Your opponent catches them and spends an hour trying to rearrange the gems, somehow taking 40-50 damage in the process.
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| It certainly does more damage to your opponent than cuddling would have done. Since cuddling only does emotional damage, I'd say it did about 100-125 points more.
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| The cheesecake crashes into the ground, and the resultant explosion of birds, snakes, and aeroplanes does 12074 damage.
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| It glows at your opponent, making <it> think <it's> covered in bruises. <It> is so convinced that <it> actually takes 10-12 damage.
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| It proves to be a brave heart by choking your opponent for 10-12 damage. Freedom!
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| <It> taps it for X damage, and you cut your foe some slack while <it's> getting its nerve back.
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| The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes <it> for 10-12 damage.
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| It shatters against your opponent and the lightning escapes, shocking <it> for 10-12 damage.
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| The cake shatters, covering him for 617 suave damage.
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| The saw blades do what saw blades were born to do, cutting him for 527 damage.
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| The box hurtles through the air toward your opponent. Just before impact, the boxing glove pops out, punching <it> for X damage.
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C
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| The fly takes flight from the drink and in midair is eaten by a spider, which is eaten by a bird, which is eaten by a cat, which is eaten by a dog, which is eaten by a cow, which squashes <it> for X damage.
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| A wannabe goth punk spots it flying through the air and leaps for it, stomping your opponent with his pleather thigh-high boots for 10-12 damage.
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| It bonks him for 2021 points' worth of bad romance damage (ra ra ooh la la).
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| There's a flurry of squeaking noises, X damage, and then ominous silence.
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| The chain lands around his neck, and the cheap metal gives him a rash for 23 damage. Too bad your opponent wasn't another adventurer.
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| Congratulations! You just hit him for 1221 damage with a celebratory cake!
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| The book bonks off of <it>, doing a sweet 1109 damage.
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| It spills out over your opponent, and the ensuing X damage is cymbally irresistible. *rimshot*
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D
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| The pot smashes into him. He's half crazy, all for the love of 10 damage.
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| He accidentally eats one of the leaves, and suffers 5330 poison damage.
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| It says, "I deduce that I will survive this impact, and that it will do X damage." Looks like he was half right.
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| A nearby fashionista leaps up to catch it and lands on your opponent, stomping <it> with a criminally expensive spiked heel for X damage.
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| Your devils-food cake does hella damage. 5098 damage, to be precise.
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| The chain lands around his neck, and the cheap metal gives him a rash for 23 damage. But it was totally the best rash, and the most damage, ever.
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| The double-sized flower pot smashes into him before he can put up his dukes, doing 23384 damage.
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E
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| They hit your opponent for 119 damage. Goo goo goo joob!
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| Vg uvgf sbe 10-12 qnzntr.
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| Turns out it was a wild orchid, and bites him for 513 damage, in a soft-focus, smutty kind of way.
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| It explodes in <its> mouth, or something similar to a mouth, and does X damage.
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Notes
- It hits for 10-12 damage.
