Gift-a-pult Messages (stuffed)

The gift-a-pult allows various gift items to be used in combat. Each item's combat message is preceded with "You load the <item> into the gift-a-pult and pull the trigger."

stuffed angry cow:


	Your opponent starts beating the crap out of it, not stopping until <it> hurts <its> self for X damage in the process.

stuffed astral badger:


	A snake leaps out of another dimension at the badger, sees that it's stuffed, then attacks him for 20 damage instead.

stuffed baby gravy fairy:


	It hits your opponent right in their eye. Yes, even if he doesn't have eyes you can see. It then dances, scouring said eye for 25 damage.

stuffed bandersnatch:


	It flooms through the atomosphair, stritting him for a frumious 106 damage.

stuffed Baron von Ratsworth:


	An angry adventurer swings a seal clubbing club at it but misses, hitting your opponent for 44 damage.

stuffed can of asparagus:


	It bonks against him for an adorable 2 damage.

stuffed carpenter:


	A flock of birds suddenly appears because it's near, and pecks your opponent for 122 damage.

stuffed caterpillar:


	It exhales a puff of smoke at your opponent, and he gets choked up for 122 damage.

stuffed Cheshire bitten:


	It bonks against him for an adorable 23 damage.

stuffed club:


	The club bounces ineffectually off your opponent, only dealing 1 damage.

stuffed cocoabo:


	It pecks him with its little felt beak, somehow doing 23 damage.

stuffed crazy bastard sword:


	A giant stuffed stick figure holding a martini chases after the sword, trampling your opponent for X damage.

stuffed dodecapede:


	Turns out each of those fluffy arms conceals a poisonous barb, which do an aggregate 10 damage. Apparently, there aren't any consumer watchdog groups in Loathing.

stuffed dodo:


	It pogos through the air like a yoyo, and lands on him for 109 damage.

stuffed flaming gravy fairy:


	It catches fire in mid-air, and burns him for 25 damage, with fire that is mystical and therefore not hot.

stuffed frozen gravy fairy:


	A chunk of frozen gravy falls out of it and hits him for 23 damage.

stuffed ghuol whelp:


	It coughs up some stuffing and re-stuffs itself with his innards, for 24 damage.

stuffed hand turkey:


	A horde of collectors stampedes after it, thinking it's the real thing, and tramples him for 25 damage.

stuffed Hodgman:


	It mutters a stream of bizarre nonsense as it smacks <it> for ~ 11936 damage.

stuffed key:


	The key lands on your opponent and somehow unlocks <its> potential to take X damage.

stuffed MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech:


	It switches its phasers from 'hug' to 'hit for 23 damage,' and fires a shot.

stuffed martini:


	A giant stuffed stick figure holding a sword chases after the martini, trampling your opponent for X damage.

stuffed Meat:


	A noob leaps up to catch the meat, and lands on <it> for X damage.

stuffed mind flayer:


	It flays your opponent'ss' mind for 25 damage.

stuffed mink:


	A hippy throws a bucket of paint at it (bucket and all), and misses, hitting your opponent for 42 damage.

stuffed Mob Penguin:


	It pulls out a toy kneecapping stick and hits him for 2459 damage.

stuffed monocle:


	It slices through your opponent for X damage. Woah, turns out the monocle had a razor-sharp edge. Hardcore, man.

stuffed ninja snowman:


	It disappears in midair, and your opponent falls to the ground, sustaining X damage. Mysteeeerious.

stuffed pocketwatch:


	It bonks against him for a timely 125 damage.

stuffed porpoise:


	It porpoisefully bonks its nose against him for 106 damage.

stuffed sabre-toothed lime:


	It bites him for 5421 damage, saving him from the scourge of toy scurvy in the process.

stuffed scary death orb:


	It looks enough like a real scary death orb that your opponent freaks out, runs blindly away, and smacks a wall for 22 damage.

stuffed sleazy gravy fairy:


	It hits on him, then straight up hits him for 24 damage.

stuffed snowy owl:


	It delivers a letter to your opponent which reads, "you have just taken 23 damage."

stuffed spooky gravy fairy:


	It lands near your opponent, and ignores him so hard that it does 24 damage.

stuffed stab bat:


	It stabs him both vigorously and ineffectually. Fortunately, your opponent is allergic to felt, so he still takes 239 damage.

stuffed stinky gravy fairy:


	The stench coming off of it causes a buzzard to drop out of the sky and land on him for 25 damage.

stuffed teddy butler:


	It butles your opponent for X damage.

stuffed tin of caviar:


	It lodges in one of your opponent's windpipe for a very posh X damage.

stuffed treasure chest:


	It opens in mid-air and dumps its contents on your opponent. Looks like it was full of X damage.

stuffed undead elbow macaroni:


	It beats the stuffing out of your opponent for 23 damage.

stuffed walrus:


	It flaps its flippers against <it>, and <it> looks surprised that the walrus isn't just a head, as pictured. The flippers do X damage, by the way, goo goo ga joob.