View source for Going Postal

==Description==
[[Gnorbert, the Elder Gnomad]], wants you to retrieve some comic books from a sk8 gnome named Gn8than, who usually hangs out at [[The eXtreme Slope]].

==Tasks==
*Go to [[The Gnomish Gnomads' Camp]] to talk to [[Gnorbert, the Elder Gnomad]].
*Go to [[The eXtreme Slope]] to talk to [[Gn8than, the Sk8 Gnome]].
*Go to [[The Sleazy Back Alley]] to talk to [[All-but-Dissertation Tucker Dummychuck, the Fingerless Hobo]].
*Go to Pandamonium Slums in [[The Deep Fat Friars' Gate]] to talk to [[Marble, the Archfiend]].
*Go to [[The Haunted Library]] to talk to [[Alice, the Ghostly Librarian]].
*Go to [[The VERY Unquiet Garves]] to talk to [[Rick, the Slick Lihc]].
*Go to the Cobb's Knob [[Kitchens]] to talk to [[Kevin'x, the Knob Goblin Chef]].
*Go to [[The Spooky Forest]] to talk to [[Cindy, the Vampire Slayer]].
*Go to the [[Noob Cave]] to talk to [[Glorificus Steinemus, the Ancient Wise Woman]].
*Go to [[the Hippy Camp]] to talk to [[Ethereal Koi Blossom, the Hippy Vegan Chef]], or, if you defeated the hippies in the [[Mysterious Island Quest]], [[The Hippy Camp (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)]] to talk to [[Oogaka, the Hippy Cavewomyn]].
*Go to [[Whitey's Grove]] to talk to [[Gannongast, the White Wizard‎]].
*Go to [[The Penultimate Fantasy Airship]] to talk to [[Mist Angst, the Protagonist‎]].
*Go to [[Lair of the Ninja Snowmen]] to talk to [[Tang Lung, the Ninja Snowman‎]].
*Go to [[The Haiku Dungeon]] to [[Haiku Dungeon in the It's About Damn Time|obtain]] the [[red paperclip]].
*Return to [[Lair of the Ninja Snowmen]] to get the [[really big tiny house]].
*Return to [[The Penultimate Fantasy Airship]] to get the [[Non-Essential Amulet]].
*Return to [[Whitey's Grove]] to get the [[white wine vinaigrette]].
*Return to [[The Hippy Camp]] or [[The Hippy Camp (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)]] to get the [[cup of strong herbal tea]].
*Return to the [[Noob Cave]] to get [[Curiously Shiny Ancient Evil-Bashing Axe]].
*Return to [[The Spooky Forest]] to get the [[marinated stakes]].
*Return to the Cobb's Knob [[Kitchens]] to get [[knob butter]].
*Return to [[The VERY Unquiet Garves]] to get the [[vial of ectoplasm]].
*Return to [[The Haunted Library]] to get the [[boock of darck magicks]].
*Return to Pandamonium Slums in [[The Deep Fat Friars' Gate]] to get the [[EZ-Play Harmonica Book]].
*Return to [[The Sleazy Back Alley]] to get the [[fingerless hobo gloves]].
*Return to [[The eXtreme Slope]] to get [[Chomsky's comic books]].
*Return to [[Gnorbert, the Elder Gnomad]] to finally claim your [[Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer|prize]].

==Text==
''Initial Visit:''

Ah, an Adventurer! Come closer, yougng one, I have a proposal that may interest you.

I seek a messegnger to make contact with our brother, Gn8than the Sk8 Gnome. He cagn usually be found on the eXtreme Slope. Even though he has shamed his family and his tribe by deserting the desert, we still wagnt to get in touch with him. For, though he is agn outcast, he borrowed our brother Chomsky's comic books and gnever returned them. If you bring the comics to me, I will reward you with a valuable piece of Gnomish technology that our Supertinker has developed, which will undoubtedly come in hagndy during your travels.

''Subsequent Visits:''

Hello agaign, Advegnturer. Have you had any success in locating our brother Chomsky's comic books? You are not ugnder any pressure to hurry, but gnaturally I cannot reward you until your task is completed.

''Upon returning with [[Chomsky's comic books]]:''

Ah, I see you have retrieved Chomsky's comic books from that gne'er-do-well, Gn8than. Now we can never speak of him again. Here is the reward I promised: a Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer. I didn't fully understagnd when Gnorman attempted to explain it to me, but as far as I could make out, it emits a burst of electricity at such a frequency that, if used to deliver the fignal blow to a monster, it somehow cognverts and redirects the monster's life-force to energize the user. The things that Gnorman comes up with, I tell you. 

Anyway, here it is. Of course, you'll be gneeding the batteries too, and there's agnother little task I have for you. You see, ancient Gnomish legends tell of forty-eight mystical crystals, each attuned to one of the fugndamental elements of creation -- fire, water, doorknobs, and so forth -- and when collected, these crystals will reveal the location of the seventy-gnine lost fragments of a map which -- ow! What are you doing? Let go of my ear! Ow! All right, fine, here, take the batteries! 

Sheesh, Adventurers these days... 
{{acquire|item=Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer}}

==Notes==
*This quest can only be undertaken if you have [[ascension|ascended]] under a Gnomish sign.
*The Hippy trade cannot be completed during the [[Mysterious Island Quest]].
*The Hippy trade cannot be completed if you are in the Hippy Disguise.
*The Lihc trade cannot be completed if you have not completed the [[Undefile the Cyrpt Quest]].
*Because the Protagonist trade cannot be completed before beginning the [[Giant Trash Quest]], your level must be at least 10 to complete this quest.
*Despite Jick's dislike for the number [[thirteen|13]], there are 13 items needed to finish this quest.
*Each task normally takes one turn, but can be overridden by [[Semi-Rare Adventures]], [[Feast of Boris]] monsters, or assassins sent by your [[Nemesis]].
*In total, this quest takes exactly 25 adventures, not including overridden ones.

==References==
*"Brother Chomsky" is a reference to [[wikipedia:Noam Chomsky|Noam Chomsky]], noted writer, philosopher, theoretical linguist and activist.
*The trade sequence, as well as your first item being a red paperclip, is a reference to the [[wikipedia:one red paperclip|one red paperclip]] trade, where a man traded a red paperclip for better and better things, ending with a house.
*The title "Going Postal" references the fact that this quest is a parody of delivery or [[Wikipedia:Quest (gaming)#Types of quests|"Fed Ex" quests]].<!--

Here to add a Terry Pratchett reference? Does this quest have anything at all to do with the book, other than two words in common, which happen to be an oft-used phrase in their own right?
 => We'll have to ask Terry for that.  Maybe he's a secret kol player and we don't know about it...
-->

[[Category:Quests]]