View source for Random Lack of an Encounter

{{adventuretop|name=Random Lack of an Encounter|image=AirshipEncounter.gif|num=182}}

You manage to make it halfway across the deck of the Airship without randomly encountering an enemy. You decide to take advantage of this rare opportunity by investigating one of the belowdecks areas of the ship.
Which area will it be?

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{{button|Investigate the crew quarters}}

As you climb down the ladder into the crew quarters, you notice the sound of heavy snoring coming from one of the bunks. You try to sneak back out without waking the sleeping Burly Sidekick, but you make a lot of noise when you trip over one of those chests that they leave laying around all over this place.

He rises and stumbles blearily toward you, arm-mounted machine gun at the ready.
{{Combat|name=Burly Sidekick|noline=y|drops=[[cocoa eggshell fragment]], [[Mohawk wig]], [[tiny house]]|meat=79-168|stat=25|element=none|image=sidekick.gif|level=100|hp=100}}

<center>''or''</center>

You climb the ladder down into the crew quarters, and encounter a Protagonist, lying on a cot and brooding.

"Hey there!" you say, "Whatcha brooding about?"

He looks up at you, broods more intensely for a few seconds, and then charges at you with his gigantic sword drawn.
{{Combat|name=Protagonist|noline=y|drops=[[phonics down]], [[ridiculously huge sword]], [[super-spikey hair gel]]|meat=58-129|stat=25|element=none|image=protag.gif|level=100|hp=80}}

<center>''or''</center>

As you climb down the ladder into the crew quarters, you're bowled over by a Spunky Princess, who corners you with an umbrella at your throat.

"Who are you!?" she demands. "Did my father send you?"

"Whoah there, calm down!" you reply.

"Don't tell me what to do!" she screams, as she starts battering you with the umbrella.
{{Combat|name=Spunky Princess|noline=y|drops=[[cocoa eggshell fragment]], [[tiny house]], [[titanium assault umbrella]]|meat=62-141|stat=22-23|element=none|image=princess.gif|level=90|hp=75}}

<center>''or''</center>

You climb the ladder down into the crew quarters, and find it quiet and deserted. Almost... too quiet and too deserted. You round a corner, and see a Quiet Healer, quietly enjoying an ice-cream sundae.

After she finishes her dessert, she grabs her staff and advances on you. Quietly.
{{Combat|name=Quiet Healer|noline=y|drops=[[amulet of extreme plot significance]], [[scroll of drastic healing]], [[soft green echo eyedrop antidote]]|meat=66-143|stat=23-24|element=none|image=healer.gif|level=95|hp=90|note1=She  potentially heals you for 15-20 HP in combat.}}

<center>''or''</center>

As you open the hatch that leads to the crew quarters, you're nearly deafened by a piercing klaxon, and nearly blinded by a bunch of flashing red lights.

If you had actually been deafened, you wouldn't hear the computerized voice bellowing 'Intruder Alert. Security systems activated.' and if you had actually been blinded, you wouldn't see the enormous robot lumbering toward you with its weapons at the ready.
{{Combat|name=MagiMechTech MechaMech|noline=y|drops=[[glowing red eye]], [[metallic A]], [[photoprotoneutron torpedo]], [[oversized pizza cutter]], [[burned-out arcanodiode]]|meat=none|stat=30|element=none|image=mech.gif|level=120|hp=100|note1=The [[burned-out arcanodiode]] will not drop unless you are on the appropriate [[The Bounty Hunter Hunter's Shack|bounty hunt]].|note2=Only occurs if +20 [[Monster Level | ML]] or more is active.  If so, will be the only monster encountered here.}}

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{{button|Check the cargo hold}}

You enter the cargo hold, and are astonished to find it packed wall to wall and ceiling to floor with treasure chests.

Man, these guys must be really obsessive about collecting treasure. It's like they're trying to get 100% of the treasure in the world, or something.

Anyway, you figure they won't miss one single measly little treasure chest, so you grab one and head back above decks.

{{acquire|item=Penultimate Fantasy chest}}

----
{{button|Head down to the galley}}

<center>'''Cut. Cut! For the love of God, CUT!'''</center>

You sneak down into the galley of the airship, and find the entire crew sitting around a table eating dinner. You quickly jump behind some crates before you're seen.

The scene that unfolds before you is... difficult to describe. The members of the crew are talking, but it's not like a regular conversation -- it's as though they're reading from a script. Nobody speaks until the person before them is completely done speaking, even when they're obviously supposed to be interrupting one another.

And the conversation's content, well, it runs the gamut from needless exposition about the mission they're on to boring stories about the characters' pasts, with occasional detours into awkward flirting and ham-handed foreshadowing.

The main problem with the conversation, though, is its length. It just goes on...

and on...

and on...

Just as you become convinced that the conversation is going to go on forever, the Burly Sidekick notices you, picks you up, and angrily throws you off the side of the airship. Ow.

{{HP|type=lose|amount=40-50}}

You dust yourself off and try to remember what you've learned from this experience. You have to have learned something, right? That conversation couldn't possibly have been just a pointless and interminable waste of your time, could it? Could it?
{{stat|mus=gain 18-39}}
{{stat|mys=gain 18-39}}
{{stat|mox=gain 18-39}}

----
{{button|Gallivant down to the head}}

You feel the stirrings of nature's call, and head belowdecks to look for the restroom.

Halfway there, you realize that the restroom in this thing must just dump directly onto the Nearby Plains, and decide that you'll just wait until you get back down to the ground.

On your way back up, you notice a glass display case with a miniature model of the airship in it. Not wanting to waste the opportunity to steal a sweet model airship, you steal the sweet model airship.
{{acquire|item=model airship}}
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*With [[candy cane sword cane]] equipped:
{{button|Pry open a hatch with your candy cane sword}}
You whip out your sword and carefully lever open a nearby hatch. Looks like someone has been hoarding various gear in there.
{{acquire|item=Penultimate Fantasy chest}}
{{acquire|item=metallic A}}
{{acquire|item=soft green echo eyedrop antidote}}
{{acquire|item=titanium assault umbrella}}
----
*With [[bat wings]] equipped, if required delay is met:
{{button|Flap over to something else}}
You soar above the ship and find a cool... nothing.
{{acquire|item=Tissue Paper Immateria}}

''or''

You soar above the ship and find a cool... shiny thing.
{{acquire|item=Tin Foil Immateria}}

''or''

You fly above the area and find a cool... thingy.
{{acquire|item=Gauze Immateria}}

''or''

Launching into the sky, on the hunt for these "immateria", you spot one and scoop it up.
{{acquire|item=Plastic Wrap Immateria}}
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Occurs at [[The Penultimate Fantasy Airship]].

==Notes==
*If you Investigate the crew quarters with less than +20 [[Monster Level]], you will not encounter [[MagiMechTech MechaMech]]s.  With +20 ML or more, you will only encounter Mechs.
**As of Feb 2014, the [[The Florist Friar's Cottage#Outdoor_Plants|Rabid Dogwood's]] +30 ML does not count for this purpose.
*Stat gain for the "Head down to the galley" choice averages 20 + max(0,[[Combat Frequency|noncombat modifier]])/2.
*The number of times "and on" is printed also depends on your noncombat modifier.  The formula is: 2 + Ceiling[ Floor(noncombat modifier) / 3 ], minimum 2.
*The Gallivant down to the head only appears if you do not have a model airship and you have not finished the level 10 quest.

==References==
*The cargo hold choice references how many RPG players attempt to complete 100% of some task, such as collecting all the treasure in the world, sometimes for some in-game reward.
*The galley choice references the "endless" mini-movies, known as cut-scenes, sprinkled within video games like the ''[[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy|Final Fantasy]]'' series, some of which advance the plot, some of which are just a "pointless... waste of your time".
*The title of this adventure is an inversion of Random Encounter.  In most RPG-style games, you explore areas and randomly encounter monsters to fight; here, you fight constantly and randomly encounter a breather.