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{{NeedsSpading|comment=Highest fail points for tests (lowest pass is basically useless information without some idea of how likely one can pass with a given stat value}}
[[image:chief_t.gif|Shifty, the Thief Chief|center]]
[[image:chief_t.gif|Shifty, the Thief Chief|center]]
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[[Shifty, the Thief Chief]] is located in the [[The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts|Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts]].  Shifty decides whether or not you may enter the guild by giving you tasks and judging your ability to complete them. Upon completion of the first three tasks, you are eligible for training by [[Lefty, the Trainer]]. Upon completion of the second task, you can start the [[Bitchin' Meatcar Quest]]. Upon completion of the third and fourth task, you are permitted to purchase items from [[The Shadowy Store]].
[[Shifty, the Thief Chief]] is located in the [[The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts|Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts]].  Shifty decides whether or not you may enter the guild by giving you a challenge. Passing the challenge will unlock all sections of the guild.  


===First task===
==Challenge Text==
*The first task is to play [[eleven|11]]-Card Monte. 3 [[Moxie]] is the bare minimum to succeed. Higher Moxie is much more likely to pass.
*Reward: Access to [[The Barrel full of Barrels]], [[Lefty, the Trainer|Lefty the Trainer]], [[Duncan Drisorderly, the Disco Bandit|Duncan Drisorderly the Disco Bandit]], [[Stradella, the Accordion Thief|Stradella the Accordion Thief]], [[Izzy the Lizard]], and [[Nash Crosby's Still]] (if you have the [[Superhuman Cocktailcrafting]] skill), as well as several items (see below).
*Before attempting the test:
:Shifty looks you over as you approach. "So, you want to join the Department, do you? Well, to gain access to the various perks we offer, you'll have to succeed in a series of tasks, each more difficult than the last.
:
:The first one is simple -- we're going to play a straightforward game of 11-Card Monte. If you can find the Queen, you have passed the test."
{{Button|Play the Game (1)}}
*Failing the test:
:Shifty quickly moves the cards around on the table, seemingly at random. When they come to rest, you hesitantly point to the fourth card from the left. Shifty turns it over, revealing it to be the Ace of Post-Hole Diggers.
:
:"Come back when you are more Moxious," says Shifty, shaking his head.
*Completing the test:
:Shifty quickly moves the cards around on the table, seemingly at random. When they come to rest, you hesitantly point to the third card from the right. Shifty turns the card over, revealing it to be the Queen of Pointy Things.
:
:"Nicely done, Initiate," says Shifty. "Welcome to the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts."
:
:"Here, take these -- you can get more at the Barrel Full of Barrels, in the Big Mountains. I'll mark it on your map.
{| align="center"
! [[Disco Bandit]]
! [[Accordion Thief]]
|-
| {{acquire|item=giant moxie weed|num=2}}
| {{acquire|item=giant moxie weed|num=2}}
|-
| {{acquire|item=enchanted barbell}}
| {{acquire|item=concentrated magicalness pill}}
|-
| {{acquire|item=rockin' wagon|num=''N''}}
| {{acquire|item=perpendicular hula|num=''N''}}
|-
|colspan=2 align="center"| '''N''' is 3 on one's first ascension run, 2 on the second, 1 on the third, and 0 on all subsequent runs.
|}
===Second task===
* The second task is to steal Izzy's wallet. 7 [[Moxie]] is the bare minimum to succeed. Higher Moxie is much more likely to pass.
*Reward: The [[Bitchin' Meatcar Quest]].
*Before attempting the test:<br>
: Shifty nods at you. "Ready for the next task? This one's a little harder: you see that guy over there? That's Izzy the Lizard. I want you to steal his wallet, and bring it back to me. If you can do it without him noticing, I'll let you use the Department's meatcar.
{{Button|Steal Izzy's Wallet (1)}}
*Failing the test:<br>
:You approach Izzy the Lizard and attempt to steal his wallet. As you're reaching into his pocket, his arm snaps out and grabs your wrist.
:
:"Nice try, rookie," says Izzy. Shifty shakes his head ruefully.


*Message when completing it:<br>
*''Initial text:''
:You approach Izzy the Lizard silently and stealthily. You deftly hork his wallet and bring it back to Shifty.
"So you wanna join the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts, eh?" Shifty says. "Well, I can't be letting just anybody in. I'm gonna have to give you a test."


:"Nice work, Initiate," says Shifty. "Here are the keys to our meatcar. Ask Izzy where he parked it."
"What kind of test?" you ask.


===Third task===
"Lessee..." Shifty looks around the room, then points surreptitiously at a guy lounging in the back. "See that guy over there? That's Izzy the Lizard. Think you can steal his wallet without him noticing?"
*The third task is to steal a beer from the bar behind the bar. 13 [[Moxie]] is the bare minimum to succeed. Higher Moxie is much more likely to pass.
*Before attempting the test:<br>
:"All right, Initiate, only one task remains to prove yourself as a member of the Department.


:In the back room of this building, there is a bar. Behind the bar, there is a bar. You must sneak past the bar, and grab me a beer from the bar."
"You mean this wallet right here?" you say. "...Hey, wait a minute..."
{{Button|Get the Beer from the Bar Behind the Bar (1)}}
*Failing the test:<br>
:You stride past Shifty and go through the door in the back of the room. You only make it about three steps toward the bar before the bar wakes up and beats you soundly about the head and neck.
*Message when completing it:<br>
:You stride past Shifty and go through the door in the back of the room. You deftly maneuver (and muscle for rank) past the bar, and make your way to the bar. You grab a beer, and take it back to Shifty. He cracks it with a smile.


:"Congratulations, <name>," he says. "You are now a full member of the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts."
"Yeah, this wallet right here," Shifty says, taking it out of his pocket. "Not bad, kid. You've got potential."


===Fourth task===
"So I'm in?"
*The fourth task is to steal your own pants. 17 [[Moxie]] is the bare minimum to succeed. Higher Moxie is much more likely to pass.
*Reward: Access to [[The Shadowy Store]].
*Before attempting the test:<br>
:"You have done well so far, my friend. You have almost earned access to the Shadowy Store in our back room. In order to do this, you must complete another challenge:


:Steal your own pants, without alerting yourself to your presence..."
He shakes his head. "That was just a, whaddyacallit, a preliminary. Here's the real test: I want you to steal your own pants. Without you noticing."
*Failing the test:<br>
:You stealthily move your hands towards your pants, but almost immediately become aware of what you are doing. Perhaps you should try again when you're more Moxious.
*Message when completing it:<br>
:You sneak up behind yourself and remove your pants before you realize what's going on.


:"Nice work!" says Shifty. "I'll let the guys in the back room know you're cool to shop there now."
"Steal my... without noticing? That doesn't make any kind of sense."


===On Subsequent Visits===
"Well, if you want in, I guess you'll have to figure it out, kid. Here's a hint: check out the Sleazy Back Alley nearby."
:You have already passed all of the challenges of your Guild.
 
*''Followup text: ''
 
"Hey, kid," Shifty nods at you. "You manage to steal your own pants yet?"
 
"I'm working on it," you say. "Give me another couple of hours... also, give me back my watch."
 
"Sure, here you go," Shifty says, handing it to you.
 
*''Returning after [[Now's Your Pants! I Mean... Your Chance!|stealing your pants]]''
 
"Hey, kid. How'd it go?"
 
"I did it!" you say. "I stole my own pants, and I didn't even notice! I've got them right..."
 
"Right here," Shifty says, as he gives them to you. "Nicely done, kid. That is, of course, assuming that you actually ''did'' steal them. You might have just ''borrowed'' them from yourself, and lied about stealing them."
 
"What? But I..."
 
"Nah, don't worry about it. I believe you, so either you're a good thief, or you're a good liar. Either way, you're in."
 
"Great!"
 
"Lefty can teach you some new tricks. Check out the Shadowy Store if you wanna pick up some tools. And ask Izzy for the keys to the guild Meatcar if you ever want to take it for a spin.
 
Now put your pants back on, okay?"
 
*''After the challenge is completed:''
 
"Oh, it's you again. Listen, kid -- as much as I'd love to have the spare time to sit around chewing the fat with every Tom, Dick and Mary that wanders in here, I've got important things to steal and important people to assassinate. Go bother somebody else.
 
Lefty, for instance. I think I heard him calling your name just now.""{{sic}}
 
:*''Additionally if you haven't yet talked to [[Izzy the Lizard]]:''
:Oh, the Meatcar? Ask Izzy where he left the keys."
 
 
*''If initially spoken to with [[Tearaway pants]] equipped:''
 
"So you wanna join the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts, eh?" Shifty says. "Well, I can't be letting just anybody in. I'm gonna have to give you a test."
 
"What kind of test?" you ask.
 
"Lessee..." Shifty looks around the room, then points surreptitiously at a guy lounging in the back. "See that guy over there? That's Izzy the Lizard. Think you can steal his wallet without him noticing?"
 
"You mean this wallet right here?" you say. "...Hey, wait a minute..."
 
"Yeah, this wallet right here," Shifty says, taking it out of his pocket. "Not bad, kid. You've got potential."
 
"So I'm in?"
 
He shakes his head. "That was just a, whaddyacallit, a preliminary. Here's the real test: I want you to steal your own pants. Without you noticing."
 
"Steal my... without noticing? That doesn't make any kind of sense."
 
"Well, if you want in, I guess you'll have to figure it out, kid. Here's a hint: check out the Sleazy Back Alley nearby."
 
You think for a moment, and then whip off your tearaway pants. You hold them up towards Shifty.
 
"Nicely done, kid, never seen the challenge done that way before. Even if it was kinda cheating, that's a plus in your column. You're in."
 
"Great!"
 
"Lefty can teach you some new tricks. Check out the Shadowy Store if you wanna pick up some tools. And ask Izzy for the keys to the guild Meatcar if you ever want to take it for a spin.
 
Now put your pants back on, okay?"
 
*''Returning to Shifty with [[Tearaway pants]] equipped if you started the quest without them:''
 
"Hey, kid," Shifty nods at you. "You manage to steal your own pants yet?"
 
You think for a moment, and then whip off your tearaway pants. You hold them up towards Shifty.
 
"Nicely done, kid, never seen the challenge done that way before. Even if it was kinda cheating, that's a plus in your column. You're in."
 
"Great!"
 
"Lefty can teach you some new tricks. Check out the Shadowy Store if you wanna pick up some tools. And ask Izzy for the keys to the guild Meatcar if you ever want to take it for a spin.
 
Now put your pants back on, okay?"
 
==History==
*The guild entrance challenges were changed on [[History of Loathing (2011)|July 14, 2011]]. The old challenges can be found [[Shifty, the Thief Chief/Old|here]].


==References==
==References==
* In the first task, the box says, "Play the Game," which is a famous song by Queen. Conveniently, you must find the queen.  Since, you know, that's the objective in 3-Card Monte, which the task parodies.
* Stealing pants could be a reference to The Gamers, an RPG themed comedic film.
*Post-hole diggers is a reference to the spade in a deck of playing cards. Spades are commonly used to dig holes for posts.
[[Category:Locations]]
*In the third task, "You deftly maneuver (and muscle for rank)" is a quote from the song ''The Distance'', from the [[Wikipedia:Cake (band)|Cake]] album ''Fashion Nugget''.
*To clarify, the [[wikipedia:Bar (establishment)|bar]] in the 3rd test is behind a [[bar]].
*The fourth task refers to a scene from the movie [[Wikipedia:The Gamers (film)| The Gamers]] where Nimble the Thief steals the pants off an unsuspecting bar patron "to see if he can"


[[Category:Locations]]
==Notes==
* Shifty will tell you to put your pants back on even if you have already done so.

Latest revision as of 16:05, 19 April 2025

Shifty, the Thief Chief
Shifty, the Thief Chief


Shifty, the Thief Chief is located in the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts. Shifty decides whether or not you may enter the guild by giving you a challenge. Passing the challenge will unlock all sections of the guild.

Challenge Text

  • Initial text:

"So you wanna join the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts, eh?" Shifty says. "Well, I can't be letting just anybody in. I'm gonna have to give you a test."

"What kind of test?" you ask.

"Lessee..." Shifty looks around the room, then points surreptitiously at a guy lounging in the back. "See that guy over there? That's Izzy the Lizard. Think you can steal his wallet without him noticing?"

"You mean this wallet right here?" you say. "...Hey, wait a minute..."

"Yeah, this wallet right here," Shifty says, taking it out of his pocket. "Not bad, kid. You've got potential."

"So I'm in?"

He shakes his head. "That was just a, whaddyacallit, a preliminary. Here's the real test: I want you to steal your own pants. Without you noticing."

"Steal my... without noticing? That doesn't make any kind of sense."

"Well, if you want in, I guess you'll have to figure it out, kid. Here's a hint: check out the Sleazy Back Alley nearby."

  • Followup text:

"Hey, kid," Shifty nods at you. "You manage to steal your own pants yet?"

"I'm working on it," you say. "Give me another couple of hours... also, give me back my watch."

"Sure, here you go," Shifty says, handing it to you.

"Hey, kid. How'd it go?"

"I did it!" you say. "I stole my own pants, and I didn't even notice! I've got them right..."

"Right here," Shifty says, as he gives them to you. "Nicely done, kid. That is, of course, assuming that you actually did steal them. You might have just borrowed them from yourself, and lied about stealing them."

"What? But I..."

"Nah, don't worry about it. I believe you, so either you're a good thief, or you're a good liar. Either way, you're in."

"Great!"

"Lefty can teach you some new tricks. Check out the Shadowy Store if you wanna pick up some tools. And ask Izzy for the keys to the guild Meatcar if you ever want to take it for a spin.

Now put your pants back on, okay?"

  • After the challenge is completed:

"Oh, it's you again. Listen, kid -- as much as I'd love to have the spare time to sit around chewing the fat with every Tom, Dick and Mary that wanders in here, I've got important things to steal and important people to assassinate. Go bother somebody else.

Lefty, for instance. I think I heard him calling your name just now.""[sic]

Oh, the Meatcar? Ask Izzy where he left the keys."


"So you wanna join the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts, eh?" Shifty says. "Well, I can't be letting just anybody in. I'm gonna have to give you a test."

"What kind of test?" you ask.

"Lessee..." Shifty looks around the room, then points surreptitiously at a guy lounging in the back. "See that guy over there? That's Izzy the Lizard. Think you can steal his wallet without him noticing?"

"You mean this wallet right here?" you say. "...Hey, wait a minute..."

"Yeah, this wallet right here," Shifty says, taking it out of his pocket. "Not bad, kid. You've got potential."

"So I'm in?"

He shakes his head. "That was just a, whaddyacallit, a preliminary. Here's the real test: I want you to steal your own pants. Without you noticing."

"Steal my... without noticing? That doesn't make any kind of sense."

"Well, if you want in, I guess you'll have to figure it out, kid. Here's a hint: check out the Sleazy Back Alley nearby."

You think for a moment, and then whip off your tearaway pants. You hold them up towards Shifty.

"Nicely done, kid, never seen the challenge done that way before. Even if it was kinda cheating, that's a plus in your column. You're in."

"Great!"

"Lefty can teach you some new tricks. Check out the Shadowy Store if you wanna pick up some tools. And ask Izzy for the keys to the guild Meatcar if you ever want to take it for a spin.

Now put your pants back on, okay?"

  • Returning to Shifty with Tearaway pants equipped if you started the quest without them:

"Hey, kid," Shifty nods at you. "You manage to steal your own pants yet?"

You think for a moment, and then whip off your tearaway pants. You hold them up towards Shifty.

"Nicely done, kid, never seen the challenge done that way before. Even if it was kinda cheating, that's a plus in your column. You're in."

"Great!"

"Lefty can teach you some new tricks. Check out the Shadowy Store if you wanna pick up some tools. And ask Izzy for the keys to the guild Meatcar if you ever want to take it for a spin.

Now put your pants back on, okay?"

History

  • The guild entrance challenges were changed on July 14, 2011. The old challenges can be found here.

References

  • Stealing pants could be a reference to The Gamers, an RPG themed comedic film.

Notes

  • Shifty will tell you to put your pants back on even if you have already done so.
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