Ye Olde Medieval Insult: Difference between revisions
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desc=This is a little rectangle of thick parchment paper containing a cutting insult. Well, an insult that would be cutting if it hadn't been dulled by hundreds of years of irrelevance.| | desc=This is a little rectangle of thick parchment paper containing a cutting insult. Well, an insult that would be cutting if it hadn't been dulled by hundreds of years of irrelevance.| | ||
type=combat item| | type=combat item| | ||
enchantment=15-20 Weakens enemies somewhat and briefly stuns them| | |||
autosell=72}} | autosell=72}} | ||
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*"Thy <female relative> is such a <stupid> <stupid> <lady of the night>, her attentions may be purchased with a scrap of paper enscrivened with the letters I.O.U.!" | *"Thy <female relative> is such a <stupid> <stupid> <lady of the night>, her attentions may be purchased with a scrap of paper enscrivened with the letters I.O.U.!" | ||
*"Thy <female relative> is such a <stupid> <lady of the night>, she will entertain any gentlemen with a brass farthing to spend and offer change from the transaction!" | *"Thy <female relative> is such a <stupid> <lady of the night>, she will entertain any gentlemen with a brass farthing to spend and offer change from the transaction!" | ||
*"Comparing a <lady of the night> like thy <female relative> to a syphilitic barncat in heat is an insult to syphilitic barn cats in heat!" | |||
===Stupid=== | ===Stupid=== | ||
*albatross-biting | *albatross-biting | ||
*arse-breath'd | |||
*bawdy | *bawdy | ||
*bear-biting | *bear-biting | ||
| Line 68: | Line 71: | ||
*rump-faced | *rump-faced | ||
*rump-fed | *rump-fed | ||
*rump-renting | |||
*self-rutting | *self-rutting | ||
*shard-borne | *shard-borne | ||
| Line 84: | Line 88: | ||
*coxcomb | *coxcomb | ||
*flap-dragon | *flap-dragon | ||
*flap-vampire bat | |||
*flax-wench | *flax-wench | ||
*jackanapes | *jackanapes | ||
| Line 105: | Line 110: | ||
*elephantine | *elephantine | ||
*hogs-bodied | *hogs-bodied | ||
*paunchy | |||
*plumpish | *plumpish | ||
*porcine | *porcine | ||
| Line 117: | Line 123: | ||
*bawd | *bawd | ||
*harlot | *harlot | ||
*jade | |||
*lady of the evening | |||
*minx | *minx | ||
*profligate | *profligate | ||
| Line 130: | Line 138: | ||
==Notes== | ==Notes== | ||
* | *Staggers 100% of the time | ||
==Collection== | ==Collection== | ||
<collection>6278</collection> | <collection>6278</collection> | ||
Latest revision as of 22:05, 28 October 2023
Ye Olde Medieval Insult
This is a little rectangle of thick parchment paper containing a cutting insult. Well, an insult that would be cutting if it hadn't been dulled by hundreds of years of irrelevance.
Type: combat item
Selling Price: 72 Meat.15-20 Weakens enemies somewhat and briefly stuns them
(In-game plural: Ye Olde Medieval Insults)
Obtained From
When Used
| ||||
| You read the insult out loud to your foe:
"Randomly constructed medieval insult" It pauses for a moment, looking both enraged and confused.
|
Insults
- "An aging, brain-addled <animal> has more brains than thou, thou <jerk>!"
- "I shall not waste words with thee, but merely observe thou art a <stupid> <stupid> <jerk>."
- "I would not expect a <stupid> <stupid> <jerk> like thee to understand even the depths of thine own worthlessness!"
- "In sooth, I have never seen a more <stupid> <jerk> than thou!"
- "Thou'rt a <fat> <stupid> <jerk>. Be thou not cross with me, for I am but the bearer of these bad tidings."
- "Thou'rt so dull of wit, if I called thee a <stupid> <stupid> <jerk>, thou wouldst take it as a compliment!"
- "Verily, I am surprised that thou took time from thy busy <activity> schedule to cross words with me, thou <jerk>!"
- "Verily, thou art a <stupid> <jerk>!"
- "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic <stupid> <jerk>? Then thou speakest sooth!"
- "Wouldst thou match wits with me, thou <stupid> <jerk>? I see thou'rt unarmed for such a contest!"
- "If brains were grain, thou wouldst not have sufficient quantity to feed thy <fat> <female relative>!"
- "Thy <female relative> is so <fat>, when she sitteth in a hot bath, she maketh her own gravy!"
- "Thy <female relative> is a <fat> <lady of the night>. If that offendeth thee, thou shouldst not shoot the messenger!"
- "Thy <female relative> is so <fat>, when she doth sit around thy swine-pen of a house, she really sits around thy swine-pen of a house!"
- "Thy <female relative> is such a <stupid> <stupid> <lady of the night>, her attentions may be purchased with a scrap of paper enscrivened with the letters I.O.U.!"
- "Thy <female relative> is such a <stupid> <lady of the night>, she will entertain any gentlemen with a brass farthing to spend and offer change from the transaction!"
- "Comparing a <lady of the night> like thy <female relative> to a syphilitic barncat in heat is an insult to syphilitic barn cats in heat!"
Stupid
- albatross-biting
- arse-breath'd
- bawdy
- bear-biting
- beef-witted
- boil-brained
- churlish
- clapper-clawed
- clod-brained
- clumpish
- cockered
- cougar-fowling
- dunder-headed
- excrement-wallowing
- fat-kidneyed
- fen-sucked
- fishwife-necked
- flap-wagging
- fusty
- goatish
- knotty-pated
- mewling
- odiferous
- pelican-buggering
- pigeon-liver'd
- pribbling
- profligate
- raccoon-liver'd
- reeky
- rump-faced
- rump-fed
- rump-renting
- self-rutting
- shard-borne
- spongy
- tickle-brained
- toad-spotted
- unchin-snouted
- weather-bitten
- wind-breaking
- yeasty
Jerk
- basket-cockle
- boar-pig
- canker-blossom
- coxcomb
- flap-dragon
- flap-vampire bat
- flax-wench
- jackanapes
- knave
- miscreant
- nut-hook
- pignut
- pillock
- ratsbane
- scullion
- skainsmate
- skut
- varlot
- wagtail
- wantwit
- whey-face
Fat
- avoirdupois
- corpulent
- elephantine
- hogs-bodied
- paunchy
- plumpish
- porcine
- portly
- rotund
- swinish
- thickset
- whalelike
Lady of the night
- affection-peddler
- bawd
- harlot
- jade
- lady of the evening
- minx
- profligate
- purveyor of the world's oldest profession
- rent-rump
- slattern
- strumpet
Activity
- mosquito-buggering
- tail-leasing
- wainscoting
Notes
- Staggers 100% of the time
Collection
- 🥇: Infopowerbroker (#2109704) - 112,441
- 🥈: Synthetik (#1331850) - 17,720
- 🥉: frogger (#1658483) - 4,096
- #4: Violet42 (#1599579) - 919
- #5: Hanson The Mighty (#1195106) - 880
- #6: ChiOnGster (#1767366) - 793
- #7: DosBoot (#115656) - 780
- #8: Mistress of the Obvious (#845708) - 669
- #9: Magister30 (#1577341) - 622
- #10: GadTheHero (#360318) - 592
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