Talk:Ye Olde Medieval Insult

When Used You read the insult out loud to your foe:

"Wouldst thou match wits with me, thou tail-leasing jackanapes? I see thou'rt unarmed for such a contest!"

She pauses for a moment, looking both enraged and confused. Monster Attack Monster attack power reduced by 20 Monster Defense Monster defense reduced by 15

Wertperch (talk) 05:59, 20 February 2013 (UTC)

"Thou'rt an avoirdupois arse-breath'd skut. Be thou not cross with me, for I am but the bearer of these bad tidings." "Wouldst thou match wits with me, thou dog-buggering ratsbane? I see thou'rt unarmed for such a contest!"

So, already we see a double-up. We need more examples, though. --KingBobson (talk) 06:48, 20 February 2013 (UTC)

More Messages

• "An aging, brain-addled boar has more brains than thou, thou canker-blossom!"
• "An aging, brain-addled polar bear has more brains than thou, thou pignut!"

• "I shall not waste words with thee, but merely observe thou art a yeasty pigeon-liver'd knave."
• "I shall not waste words with thee, but merely observe thou art a pribbling profligate ratsbane."

• "I would not expect a churlish pigeon-liver'd wantwit like thee to understand even the depths of thine own worthlessness!"
• "I would not expect a reeky toad-spotted pillock like thee to understand even the depths of thine own worthlessness!"

• "In sooth, I have never seen a more beef-witted flax-wench than thou!"
• "In sooth, I have never seen a more boil-brained wantwit than thou!"
• "In sooth, I have never seen a more rump-fed skainsmate than thou!"

• "Thou'rt a rotund clapper-clawed basket-cockle. Be thou not cross with me, for I am but the bearer of these bad tidings."
• "Thou'rt an avoirdupois tickle-brained flap-dragon. Be thou not cross with me, for I am but the bearer of these bad tidings."
• "Thou'rt an elephantine fen-sucked skut. Be thou not cross with me, for I am but the bearer of these bad tidings."
• "Thou'rt a hogs-bodied rump-faced wantwit. Be thou not cross with me, for I am but the bearer of these bad tidings."

• "Thou'rt so dull of wit, if I called thee a cockered beef-witted flax-wench, thou wouldst take it as a compliment!"
• "Thou'rt so dull of wit, if I called thee a fusty boil-brained coxcomb, thou wouldst take it as a compliment!"
• "Thou'rt so dull of wit, if I called thee a mewling knotty-pated canker-blossom, thou wouldst take it as a compliment!"
• "Thou'rt so dull of wit, if I called thee a mewling fat-kidneyed whey-face, thou wouldst take it as a compliment!"
• "Thou'rt so dull of wit, if I called thee a reeky weather-bitten pignut, thou wouldst take it as a compliment!"

• "Verily, I am surprised that thou took time from thy busy mosquito-buggering schedule to cross words with me, thou knave!"
• "Verily, I am surprised that thou took time from thy busy tail-leasing schedule to cross words with me, thou pignut!"
• "Verily, I am surprised that thou took time from thy busy wainscoting schedule to cross words with me, thou strumpet!"
• "Verily, I am surprised that thou took time from thy busy wainscoting schedule to cross words with me, thou flax-wench!"

• "Verily, thou art a dunder-headed scullion!"
• "Verily, thou art an unchin-snouted skut!"
• "Verily, thou art a fen-sucked wantwit!"

• "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic clod-brained skut? Then thou speakest sooth!"
• "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic fen-sucked flax-wench? Then thou speakest sooth!"
• "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic fishwife-necked varlot? Then thou speakest sooth!"
• "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic shard-borne nut-hook? Then thou speakest sooth!"
• "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic unchin-snouted pignut? Then thou speakest sooth!"
• "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic rump-faced flax-wench? Then thou speakest sooth!"
• "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic cougar-fowling wantwit? Then thou speakest sooth!"

• "Wouldst thou match wits with me, thou excrement-wallowing knave? I see thou'rt unarmed for such a contest!"
• "Wouldst thou match wits with me, thou flap-wagging miscreant? I see thou'rt unarmed for such a contest!"
• "Wouldst thou match wits with me, thou pelican-buggering skainsmate? I see thou'rt unarmed for such a contest!"
• "Wouldst thou match wits with me, thou self-rutting wantwit? I see thou'rt unarmed for such a contest!"

• "If brains were grain, thou wouldst not have sufficient quantity to feed thy whalelike mother!"
• "If brains were grain, thou wouldst not have sufficient quantity to feed thy thickset niece!"

• "Thy sister is so portly, when she sitteth in a hot bath, she maketh her own gravy!"
• "Thy aunt is so avoirdupois, when she sitteth in a hot bath, she maketh her own gravy!"

• "Thy daughter is a portly rent-rump. If that offendeth thee, thou shouldst not shoot the messenger!"
• "Thy daughter is a rotund strumpet. If that offendeth thee, thou shouldst not shoot the messenger!"
• "Thy mother is a porcine profligate. If that offendeth thee, thou shouldst not shoot the messenger!"
• "Thy niece is a hogs-bodied harlot. If that offendeth thee, thou shouldst not shoot the messenger!"

• "Thy sister is such a fusty rump-fed slattern, her attentions may be purchased with a scrap of paper enscrivened with the letters I.O.U.!"
• "Thy niece is such a spongy knotty-pated minx, her attentions may be purchased with a scrap of paper enscrivened with the letters I.O.U.!"
• "Thy niece is such a clumpish fen-sucked affection-peddler, her attentions may be purchased with a scrap of paper enscrivened with the letters I.O.U.!"

• "Thy niece is such a pribbling bawd, she will entertain any gentlemen with a brass farthing to spend and offer change from the transaction!"
• "Thy daughter is such a mewling purveyor of the world's oldest profession, she will entertain any gentlemen with a brass farthing to spend and offer change from the transaction!"

• "Thy niece is so corpulent, when she doth sit around thy swine-pen of a house, she really sits around thy swine-pen of a house!"
• "Thy niece is so swinish, when she doth sit around thy swine-pen of a house, she really sits around thy swine-pen of a house!"

--Johnny Treehugger (talk) 21:17, 20 February 2013 (UTC)

I suspect this uses the same code as the Dis Lichen. The insults are extremely similar, at least at first glance. You might wish to combine efforts with the spading that I've been doing on the other talk page. I've already identified a few new templates, but there's plenty more work to do. --Greycat (talk) 13:38, 27 March 2014 (UTC)

Ok, this is kind of odd. I used it and went to double-check with the page to see what the other options were, but none of it was on here at all? I was funkslinging it with an Oily Boid against a spooky hobo, if that SOMEHOW becomes relevant. Insult below. --FoxCria (talk) 00:21, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

* "Comparing a jade like thy niece to a syphilitic barncat in heat is an insult to syphilitic barn cats in heat!"

Augh, this was documented over in the talk page for the Dis Lichen. This whole thing needs a lot of updates.

"What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic weather-bitten applejohn? Then thou speakest sooth!" "Thy sister is so swinish, when she doth sit around thy swine-pen of a house, she really sits around thy swine-pen of a house!" "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic rump-faced knave? Then thou speakest sooth!" "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic fishwife-necked boar-pig? Then thou speakest sooth!" "Thy sister is such a spongy lady of the evening, she will entertain any gentlemen with a brass farthing to spend and offer change from the transaction!" "Thy sister is such a mewling tavern-wench, she will entertain any gentlemen with a brass farthing to spend and offer change from the transaction!" "Comparing a purveyor of the world's oldest profession like thy sister to a syphilitic barncat in heat is an insult to syphilitic barn cats in heat!" "In sooth, I have never seen a more unchin-snouted puttock than thou!"