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| ''As a male:''
| | [[Clingy pirate]] may mean: |
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| {{battle
| | *[[clingy pirate (male)]], which female characters fight |
| |image=girlpirate.gif
| | *[[clingy pirate (female)]], which male characters fight |
| |a=a
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| |name=clingy pirate
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| |text=As you wander the deck of the pirate ship, a female pirate walks up and grabs you by the arm. "There you are, honey!" she says.
| | {{disambig}} |
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| "Yup, here I am," you reply, "and I really should be continuing this quest, so I'll just --"
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| She tightens her grip. "Where are you going? How long will you be gone? I'll miss you! Do you have your cell phone with you? Don't look at any other pirates, okay?"
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| You make another attempt to pry her off of your arm, and she bursts into tears. "I see how you are! You just aren't invested in this relationship, are you?"
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| "What relationshi-- ow!"
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| |hit="Why do you close your eyes when we make love?" she shouts, clinging to your arm hard enough to leave a bruise.
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| |hit=She calls you an adorable nickname. All the other pirates laugh at you, and you cry inside.
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| Ow! Ow! Ugh! Argh! Ow! Ooh!
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| |miss=She clings tightly to you. It's not altogether unpleasant, to be honest.
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| She catches you checking out another pirate's booty, but you explain you were only interested in looting it.
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| She tries to baby-talk you into a corner, but nobody puts baby-talk in a corner.
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| She tries to get you to hold her purse, but you purse your lips and refuse.
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| |critical=She clings tightly to you, professes her undying love, then shouts at you while slapping you back and forth across the face. You're nonplussed, but not uninjured.{{ouch|4}}}}
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| {{acquire|item=bit of clingfilm}}
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| ''As a female:''
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| {{battle
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| |image=pirate3.gif
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| |a=a
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| |name=clingy pirate
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| |text=You feel an arm slip around your waist, and look up to see a male pirate clinging to you. "Hey, let's sit down for a while and talk about our feelings," he says.
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| "Uh, how about we don't?" you reply. Tears well up in the clingy pirate's eyes.
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| "I just feel so emotionally distant from you right now," he says, "could you just hold me for a little while?"
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| "If by 'hold' you mean 'beat on,' then sure."
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| |miss=He tries to cuddle with you, but you befuddle his cuddling attempts.
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| He decides to assert his independence for a few seconds before neurotically clinging to you again.
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| He delivers a treatise on how manly men are really deeply insecure. You yawn.
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| He tries to cling to you, but you remain unclung to.
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| |fumble=You tell him you only like him as a friend -- well, actually, you only like him as a mortal enemy. He curls up in the fetal position and starts sucking his thumb.}}
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| {{acquire|item=bit of clingfilm}}
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| ----
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| Occurs at [[the F'c'le]].
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| ==Notes==
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| *If you use a [[cocktail napkin]] on the clingy pirate, you get a different result.
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