Autosell

Autoselling is the process of trading in items for Meat at the item's disclosed selling price.

Autosell messages take the form:

You sell your <list of items> to a(n) <buyer> for <autosell value of items> Meat.

Attempting to autosell items during a Way of the Surprising Fist run results in a message of the form:

You don't want to break your vow of poverty, so you donate your <list of items> to charity.

Buyers

The buyer is any one of the following:

• anthropomorphic chicken breast
• argonaut
• Bugbear breeder
• bicycling acolyte
• Canadian telemarketer
• caterwauling samurai
• corrupt policeman
• crushed dwarf with a pair of pliers
• cycling minstrel
• demon-eating kitten
• drunken hemi-dwarf
• Dutch Elm Disease-riddled Ent
• flock of geese
• fool on a hill
• halfling knob polisher
• hermetic seal
• hotel detective
• intelligent shade of blue
• kitten-eating demon
• lecherous orangutan
• long-haul trucker on speed
• mechanic named Mike
• miniscule suffragette
• monkey organ grinder
• mustachioed popcorn vendor
• Orcish Frat Boy
• organ grinder
• organ grinder's monkey
• puddle of primordial ooze
• stranger with candy
• wandering hippy

Items that exist to be autosold

There are a number of items in game which have no purpose (and have never had any other purpose) but to be autosold. These cannot be equipped, fed to a familiar, cooked, crafted, given to someone else to craft, used in a quest, used as an alternative currency, or anything else.

100 Meat

leather bookmark

meat st‰¿bing club

150 Meat

silver salt-shaker

200 Meat

empty Cloaca-Cola bottle

250 Meat

huge gold coin

300 Meat

pile of gold coins

500 Meat

dollar-sign bag

1000 Meat

commemorative war stein (to turn Battlefield loot into Meat)

fancy seashell necklace (to turn Battlefield loot into Meat)

handful of confetti (has a trophy use, but is not consumed when used)

massive gemstone

4000 Meat

Argarggagarg's fang

broken carburetor

Heimandatz's heart

Jocko Homo's head

Safari Jack's moustache

The Mariachi's guitar case

Yakisoba's hat

5000 Meat

really dense meat stack

solid gold bowling ball

21337 Meat

Gilded BRICKO chalice

The fat stacks of cash originally existed only to be autosold (for 150 Meat each), but was changed to be a combat item in late 2008.

References

• The argonauts were the soldiers on the ship "Argo" in the mythological story of "Jason and the Golden Fleece".
• "Crushed dwarf with a pair of pliers" refers to the 1970 comedy album Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers by The Firesign Theatre.
• "Fool on a hill" alludes to The Beatles song "The Fool on the Hill".
• "Hermetic seal" is a pun on hermetically sealed, which means to be sealed perfectly, airtight. There's also a monster by that name
• "Hotel detective" refers to the song "(She Was A) Hotel Detective" by They Might Be Giants.
• An "intelligent shade of blue" appears in the novel The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy describing the Hooloovoo race.
• "Kitten-eating Demons" appeared during the sixth season of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.
• The "mechanic named Mike" refers to the band Mike and the Mechanics.
• "Stranger with candy" may be a reference to the sitcom Strangers with Candy, or the stereotypical abductor of children.
• "Long-haul trucker on speed" is a reference to the Jim Croce song "Speedball Tucker."