Dirty thieving brigand

Dirty thieving brigand
Monster ID	475
Locations	The Themthar Hills
Hit Points	185
Attack	169
Defense	153
No-Hit	179
Initiative	50
Meat	800-1,200
Phylum	dude
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops	None
Manuel	brigand brittle
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a dirty thieving brigand

This is one of the dirty rotten scoundrels that stole all of the Meat from the coffers of Our Lady of Perpetual Indecision.

Hit Message(s):

He tries to cut your pursestrings, but misses and cuts your ear instead. Ow! Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! Argh! Argh!

He punches you in the skull, and it hurts way more than it ought to -- he must've been holding on to a roll of nickels. Ow! Ooh! Ouch! Argh! Ugh!

He tries to pick your pocket, and when he fails, he gets angry and kicks you in the skull. Ow! Oof! Oof! Ow! Ow! Ugh!

He clobbers you on the back of the head with a blackjack, and steals a bunch of your Meat. After you recover, you win it all back from him in a quick game of Pai-Gow Poker. Ow! Ooh! Oof! Oof! Argh! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He finally manages to steal some of your Meat, but not the Meat in your wallet -- the meat that makes up your <bung>, your <bung>, and your <bung>. Eek! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to cut your pursestrings, but you've gotten into the habit of keeping your Meat in a fanny-pack, instead, so there's nothing for him to cut.

He tries to pick your pocket, but ends up mistakenly picking his own. How embarrassing!

He tries to clobber you on the back of the head with a blackjack, but you were never much of a gambler.

He tries to pick your pocket, but you catch him red-handed, because your pocket was full of red paint.

He lunges at you, but you pull his mask up over his eyes and he just flails around harmlessly for a little while.

Fumble Message:

He gets confused and accidentally mugs himself. You point and laugh as he lay unconscious. (FUMBLE!)

---

After Combat

You gain 900−1,000 Meat

You gain ? ? ? <substat>.

---

Occurs at The Themthar Hills.

Notes

• One of the sisters (Hippocampus, Cerebellum, Fornix, Colliculi, or Ganglia) will take meat earned at the end of the battle and say "Thank you for recovering this meat", with a different message based on the amount of meat you've gathered.

Meat earned	What the Sister says
0-25,000 Meat	"Almost all of the Meat is still in the hands of those bandits -- please continue your efforts!"
25,000-50,000 Meat	"You've recovered a good portion of the stolen Meat, but there's still plenty left."
50,000-75,000 Meat	"You've recovered more than half of what was stolen, Adventurer! It won't be long now!"
75,000-100,000 Meat	"You're almost done! It won't be long now until all of the Meat is recovered!"

• Once you have gathered 100,000 meat, a sister will take the meat and say: "Thank you for recovering this Meat!" she says. "I think this is the last of it! However can we repay you for your assistance?"

"Well," you say, "it would really help the war effort if your convent could serve as a hospital for our wounded troops." "Consider it done," she says. "Stop by whenever you need healing, and we'll be glad to assist you."

• During this sub-quest, you do not gain any meat from fighting the brigands.
• Without buffs, the sisters get around 900-1000 meat from a fight.
• With Polka of Plenty they gain 1200-1900 meat per fight. Stacking +meat drop effects will help you complete the mini-quest faster.
• FYI: meat vortices netted 1-1000 meat (which you get to keep)
• NPZR meat theft procs also give you the meat, rather than the sisters.