El Vibrato Megadrone (familiar)

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Familiar number: 81
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El Vibrato Megadrone
Strange ancient magic, or is it technology? It's probably both.

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Ability: Attacks; Delevels; heals at the end of combat; increases weapon damage; or prevents the opponent from attacking, depending on function selected with El Vibrato punchcards

Throne/Bjorn: Unknown

Hatchling: El Vibrato Megadrone

Familiar-Specific Equipment: N/A

	Ultimate Cage Match	Scavenger Hunt	Obstacle Course	Hide and Seek

Mumming Trunk Abilities:

*Hover for details

Cannot breathe underwater

Combat Messages

• During combat, if no punchcard has been inserted:

<Name> floats around in circles, endlessly repeating "NO BEFUNO BUGACHA."

• During combat, when programmed to ATTACK:

<Name> says "TAFU: <opponent> BUGACHA, BEBU GACHOKUZ FUCHANOKCHA." as it fires a beam of energy at your opponent, dealing X damage.

• At end of combat, when programmed to REPAIR:

<name> says "KROKUZ NOKZAKPAAN GACHOKUZ FUCHANOKCHA." translated "ORGANIC RECOMPOSITION PROTOCOL INITIALIZING." It presses itself against your head, and your whole body feels warm.

You gain X hit points.

• During combat, when programmed to BUFF:

<name> says "TAFU: <weapon> BUGACHA. SOM GACHOKUZ FUCHANOKCHA." as a beam of energy arcs out of it and into your <weapon>.

• During combat, when programmed to MODIFY:

<Name> says "TAFU: <opponent> BUGACHA, FUZEVEZEVECHO GACHOKUZ FUCHANOKCHA." as it performs a series of painful-looking body modifications on your opponent. He comes out of it looking a little worse for wear.

• During combat, when programmed to BUILD:

<Name> says "FUAN GACHOKUZ FUCHANOKCHA" as it sweeps back and forth in front of your opponent, building a wall out of thin air. Your opponent has to walk around it, and doesn't have time to attack you.

• With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:

You can see a bright blue glow coming from beneath the brim of the Tam O'Shatner.

• With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:

<Name> glides in circles around the maypole, leading you to wonder whether neutrons are important to its operation.

• With wax lips equipped:

The bright blue glow shining through <Name>'s wax lips makes everything look purple.

Notes

• Having this familiar as your active familiar puts an [insert into the drone] link under each of the "command" El Vibrato punchcards in your inventory (115, 97, 129, 165, and 213). Inserting a card selects a function, clearing out any previously selected function.

• When inserting an ATTACK punchcard:

You slide the punchcard into a slot in <name>. A voice emerges: "BEFUNO GABECHA: BEBU."

• When inserting a REPAIR punchcard:

You slide the punchcard into a slot in <name>. A voice emerges: "BEFUNO GABECHA: TAGA."

• When inserting a BUFF punchcard:

You slide the punchcard into a slot in <name>. A voice emerges: "BEFUNO GABECHA: SOM."

• When inserting a BUILD punchcard:

You slide the punchcard into a slot in <name>. A voice emerges: "BEFUNO GABECHA: FUAN."

• When inserting a MODIFY punchcard:

You slide the punchcard into a slot in <name>. A voice emerges: "BEFUNO GABECHA: FUKRO."

• The Megadrone's selected function is cleared on ascension.
• When set to attack, will attack 50% of the time for int(X/2)+1 to X+2 in damage, where X is the familiar's weight.
• When set to heal, the familiar will heal 50% of the time at the end of combat for int((3X+5)/2) to 3X+5 HP.
• The "Buff" effect occurs some of the time while attacking. It appears to increase damage.
• The "Build" effect prevents the opponent from attacking that round.
• The "Modify" effect appears to delevel occasionally each combat round
• This familiar can have as much as 100 pounds added to it through the El Vibrato helmet.
• This is one of 10 familiars that are animated. The other 9 are: Cheshire Bat, Coffee Pixie, Attention-Deficit Demon, Cymbal-Playing Monkey, Jitterbug, Nervous Tick, Hunchbacked Minion, Astral Badger, Casagnova Gnome.

References

• The lines of the haiku refer to Clarke's third law, stating that "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
• The Maypole message refers to The Neutron Dance by The Pointer Sisters.

See Also

• HP Restorers
• Monster Level
• El Vibrato language