Gluttonous ghuol

It pokes you with its pointy ears. Hear the pain! Eek! Ugh! (spooky damage)

It chomps on you, but spits you out when it realizes you're still alive. Still, that chomp hurt so good. Eek! Eek! (spooky damage)

It waddles over, trips, and falls on top of you. Argh! Oof! (spooky damage)

It scratches you with its dirty, dirty fingernails. Great, now you're gonna need shots. Eek! Oof! (spooky damage)

In a surprise move, the gluttonous ghuol kills you! It takes a couple of pretty good chunks out of your dead flesh before a random lightning strike brings you back to life. Ow! Argh! (spooky damage)

It tries to poke you with its pointy ears, but you dodge.

It starts to chomp on you, but you say "I'm not dead yet!" and it desists.

It tries to waddle over to you, but runs out of breath before it gets there.

It tries to scratch you with its dirty fingernails, but you give it a quick manicure.

It stalks toward you, but suddenly clutches its chest and falls over, shouting the ghuolish equivalent of, "I'm comin', 'Lizabeth!" It lies there, motionless, as other ghuols come to feed on it.

You gain 24−38 Meat (average: 30.2, stdev: 2.9)*

You acquire an item: ghuol ears (11.2% chance)*

You acquire an item: ghuol egg (9.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: ghuol guolash (21.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: huge spoon (??% chance)*

You gain 11 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Defiled Cranny.

References

• The 2nd hit text refers to the song Hurts So Good by John Mellencamp.
• The 2nd miss text contains a quote from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
• The 4th hit text refers to tetanus.
• The critical miss message refers to Sanford and Son, specifically the lead character's fake heart attack scares whenever he doesn't get his way.