April Fools' Familiars

On April Fool's Day 2010, familiars transformed into one of these wacky familiars at the start of combat.

• On April 1st, 2010:
  • at the start of combat: <name> changes into a <Random April Fools Familiar>.
  • after combat: <name> reverts to his original form.
  • runaway: <name> reverts to an amorphous blob

Bank Piggy

Ability: Takes 100 Meat every turn, gives back taken at end of turn with 5% interest.

Combat message:

<name> takes 100 Meat from you.

You lose 100 Meat.

End of combat:

<name> returns your Meat to you, with interest! Like, he's interested in the process. And also your Meat has earned interest.

Egg Benedict

Ability: Attacks you at the end of combat for 50% of your max HP. Even if your HP drops to zero as a result of its attack, you still win the fight.

Combat messages:

<name> wobbles back and forth a little.

<name> stabs you in the back.

You lose some hit points.

Floating Eye

Ability: Paralyzes your foe or you, each turn.

Combat messages:

<name> gazes into your opponent's eyes, paralyzing him

As you start to attack, <name> gazes into your eyes, paralyzing you.

As you're about to use that item, <name> gazes into your eyes, paralyzing you.

Money-Making Goblin

Ability: Takes meat drops and either gives back double or loses everything.

End of Combat:

<name> grabs <amount> Meat and quickly rushes off toward the Thatch-Roofed Casino. A few minutes later, he trudges back with a disappointed look on his face.

<name> grabs <amount> Meat and quickly rushes off toward the Thatch-Roofed Casino. A few minutes later, he runs back to you with a big grin on his face.

You gain <2*amount> Meat

Oyster Bunny

Ability: Drops an Oyster Egg at the end of combat.

Combat messages:

<name> makes a soft clucking noise.

<name> hops around sniffing at things.

End of combat

<name> clucks and lays an egg.

You acquire an item: Random Oyster Eggs

Plastic Grocery Bag

Ability: Does nothing

Combat message:

<name> makes crinkling noises as it gets chased around by a cat.

<name> gets caught in a tree. "Yep," you think to yourself, "There's that bag."

<name> just sits there being unsafe for children.

<name> blows around in the breeze. It's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

Snowhitman

Ability: Deals physical or cold damage, or gives 5 turns of B-b-brr! or Bruised Jaw.

Combat message:

<name> pops a silenced cap in your opponent, dealing X damage.

<name> jumps on your opponent and smothers him, dealing X (cold) damage.

<name> grabs a chunk of itself and throws it at your face. That thing is brutal.

You acquire an effect: B-b-brr! (duration: 5 Adventures)

<name> pistolwhips you, seriously bruising your jaw. Man. You can't trust anybody in this town.

You acquire an effect: Bruised Jaw (duration: 5 Adventures)

Vampire Bird

Ability: Deals damage during combat. Damages you at the end of combat and gains bonus experience.

Combat message:

The Vampire Bird stabs your opponent in hiss ass, dealing X damage.

The Vampire Bird casts your opponent into the lake of burning fire. Your opponent is burning to the crisp, taking X damage.

End of combat:

The Vampire Bird sucks the blood out of you, killing you. Well, not killing you, just hurting you.

You lose some hit points.

Worm Doctor

Ability: Heals you or the foe.

Combat messages:

<name> is interested in things. Right now, he seems to be interested in treating your opponent's wounds. Why that treacherous little... worm!

<name> isn't a real doctor, but he manages to patch you up a little bit anyway.

You gain some hit points.

References

• They call me Doctor Worm.
• The plastic grocery bag is a reference to the film American Beauty.