Lesser Fruit Golem

Lesser Fruit Golem
Monster ID	284
Locations	Tower Ruins
Hit Points	9
Attack	17
Defense	15
No-Hit	28
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	construct
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, leg, torso
Drops	grapefruit, grapes, lemon, orange, strawberry
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Lesser Fruit Golem

This is a golem that Fernswarthy apparently made out of a couple of handfuls of fruit. Wrath in its eyes, it stalks toward you on legs made not of celery, but of grapes.

Hit Message(s):

It swings one banana arm at you and catches you square in the <leg>. Oof! Argh!

It hits you with an orange. Orange you glad he didn't use a banana? Ow! Argh!

He garottes you with a grapevine. Now you're just about to lose your mind, honey honey, yeah. Argh! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He kicks you with both of his legs, which are made of grapes. It makes you angry. This must be that "wrath of grapes" thing everybody always talks about. Oof! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

It swings one banana arm at you, but slips on a banana peel from a previously defeated golem.

He tries to bean you with an orange, but misses. Orange you glad he did?

He tries to garotte you with a grapevine, but you'd heard he would try that.

Fumble Message:

He lunges toward you, but you stomp on his foot. This not only distracts him, but it also produces a very, very small amount of wine! (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: grapefruit (14.8% chance)*

You acquire an item: grapes (15.6% chance)*

You acquire an item: lemon (16.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: orange (16.7% chance)*

You acquire an item: strawberry (14.8% chance)*

You gain 3-5 <substat>.

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Occurs at Fernswarthy's Tower.

References

• The grapevine garotte hit text is a reference to the song "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" which was originally written by Barrett Strong and Norman Whitfield, and has been performed by many artists, including Gladys Knight & The Pips and Marvin Gaye. Lyrics include "Oh I'm just about to lose my mind / Honey, honey, yeah".
• The miss text for the garotte is a reference either to that or the more general use of "the grapevine" to refer to hearsay as an information source.
• The orange hit text is a reference to a knock-knock joke in two parts: "Knock-knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana isn't very funny. Knock-knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?"