Maximizing Your HP

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Below is a comprehensive list of the best equipment to wear that directly affects your maximum HP.

Increasing your Muscle also has an effect on your maximum HP, at a base ratio of one HP per Muscle point. This ratio is improved to 1.5 HP per muscle point if you are a Seal Clubber or a Turtle Tamer. Seal Clubbing Frenzy can also increase your maximum HP indirectly by raising your muscle by two for a cost of one MP.

For these reasons, you may also be interested in the list of Muscle Modifiers. They are not listed alongside these items due to the variable nature of the Muscle-to-HP ratio.

KOL Deity: Presumed to have access to every resource in the game, including ultra rares and custom items. This classification represents the theoretical maximum.

Villa: Next to the Deity in ranking. This classification represents those long time players which have collected many items, made a number of ascensions, and have a large pool of meat to pull from. Every player in the game is capable of attaining Villa status.

Ascender: A player that is reasonably active and works to obtain the best items that they can. This player has probably ascended at least several times, and has probably purchased at least a few expensive items from the mall.

Normal: The basic KOL player, who either plays purely for fun, or who is fairly new to the game. Still, this player has made a decent effort to master the game and enhance their capabilities.

Apathetic Lizardman: Players who take a very casual approach to the game. Sacrilegious, isn't it?!

	KOL Deity		Villa		Ascender		Normal		Apathetic Lizardman
Hat	catskin cap	40	stainless steel skullcap/black helmet	30	stainless steel skullcap/black helmet	30	black helmet	30	black helmet	30
Shirt	white snakeskin duster	10	n/a	0	n/a	0	n/a	0	n/a	0
Pants	astronaut pants	30	astronaut pants	30	astronaut pants	30	astronaut pants	30	astronaut pants	30
Weapon	giant cactus quill	30	Staff of Blood and Pudding	15	Staff of Blood and Pudding	15	n/a	0	n/a	0
Off-hand	battered hubcap	100	wonderwall shield	50	wonderwall shield	50	wonderwall shield	50	wonderwall shield	50
Accessory 1	blackberry combat boots	45	bejeweled accordion strap	25	support cummerbund	20	support cummerbund	20	support cummerbund	20
Accessory 2	bejeweled pledge pin	40	bejeweled accordion strap	25	support cummerbund	20	support cummerbund	20	support cummerbund	20
Accessory 3	shiny hood ornament	30	bejeweled accordion strap	25	support cummerbund	20	support cummerbund	20	support cummerbund	20
Reptilian Fortitude	Yes	30	Yes	30	Yes	30	Yes	30	No	0
Moxie of the Mariachi	Yes	4	Yes	4	No	0	No	0	No	0
Patience of the Tortoise	Yes	4	Yes	4	No	0	No	0	No	0
Sauce Contemplation	Yes	4	Yes	4	No	0	No	0	No	0
Spirit of Ravioli	Yes	25%	Yes	25%	No	0%	No	0%	No	0%
Gnomish Hardigness	Yes	5%	Yes	5%	No	0%	No	0%	No	0%
% Total	30%		30%		0%		0%		0%
x100 Base Stat	30		30		0		0		0
Absolute Total	367		242		215		200		170
Grand Total	397		272		215		200		170

Note: in addition to the raw +HP modifiers, the items listed under "KOL Deity" also provide a combined +46 to Muscle when equipped, which noticeably boosts the total HP gain.

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