Astral Badger

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Familiar number: 53
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Astral Badger
Come take a journey To the center of your mind Or just beat up foes.

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Ability: Attacks like a MicroMechaMech, and drops up to five Astral Mushrooms a day, which let you go into a new "area."

Throne/Bjorn: Unknown

Hatchling: astral badger

Familiar-Specific Equipment: badger badge

	Ultimate Cage Match	Scavenger Hunt	Obstacle Course	Hide and Seek

Mumming Trunk Abilities:

*Hover for details

Cannot breathe underwater

Combat Messages

Regular message(s):

• <name> claws your opponent with his pan-dimensional claws for X damage. (X = floor(weight/2) - 5 to weight - 5)
• <name> claws your opponent with his pan-dimensional claws for X damage. If only the monster had a "non-pandimensional claws clause" in his contract. (X = floor(weight/2) - 5 to weight - 5)
• <name> claws your opponent with his pan-dimensional claws and bites him with his astral teeth for X damage. (X = floor(weight/2) to weight)
• <name> claws your opponent with his pan-dimensional claws and bites him with his astral teeth for X damage. Ladies and gentlemen, coming to the stage right now: ASTRAL TEETH! (X = floor(weight/2) to weight)
• <name> reaches into a higher plane and pulls out a snake! A snake! It's a snake! He throws the snake at your opponent, and the snake bites for X damage. It's a shame Samuel L. Jackson isn't around to see this. (X = floor(weight/2) + 10 to weight + 10)

• Every so often, up to five times a day:

You hear a small *pop!* as <name> produces a rainbow-colored mushroom from... well, from somewhere. You couldn't really tell. He sniffs the mushroom, then tosses it away. You pick it up because, hey, free mushroom.

You acquire an item: astral mushroom (25% chance)*

• With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:

You witness the badger wink at you from beneath the Tam O'Shanter. Better to witness the badger than badger the witness, I always say.

• With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:

You witness the badger do a very repetitive but catchy dance around the maypole. Better to witness the badger than badger the witness, I always say.

• With wax lips equipped:

You witness the badger slightly shred the wax lips with his sharp teeth. Better to witness the badger than badger the witness, I always say.

Arena Messages

• When entered in a Scavenger Hunt:
  

<name> is lousy at scavenger hunts. He can see hundreds of dimensions at once and is never sure in which one the hunt is taking place.

Notes

• Familiar of the month for June 2006.
• The badger attacks every round for at least one damage.
• The badger will use the claws-only attack 70% of the time, the claws+teeth 15% of the time, and the snake 15% of the time.
• After ascending, you can summon five more mushrooms that day.
• You can win astral mushrooms from each NS form.
• The doppelshifter can change into a badger and does drop mushrooms.
• If the Badger is adventuring in the Nearby Plains, you may get "It's a shame Samuel L. Jackson isn't around to see this." added at the end of an action performed in your turn. This is also true for the Battlefield.
• There exists a stuffed version of this familiar.
• This familiar is notable for being the only Mr. Store monthly special familiar to have an animated image.
• After roughly 1 minute, the arms of the badger will move up and down in the same way the badgers in Weebl's Badger Loop. (also see below)
• This is one of 10 familiars that are animated. The other 9 are: Cheshire Bat, Coffee Pixie Attention-Deficit Demon, Cymbal-Playing Monkey, Jitterbug, Nervous Tick, Casagnova Gnome, Hunchbacked Minion, and El Vibrato Megadrone

References

• The mushroom collection message, "because, hey, free mushroom" is based on a quote from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey: "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy."
• The Familiar's haiku references the 1968 song Journey to the Center of the Mind by the Amboy Dukes, of which Ted Nugent was a founding member.
• The entire badger/mushroom/snake deal is a reference to Weebl's Badger Loop... this includes "a snake! A snake! It's a snake!".
• After 1 minute, the badger's image dances for 5 seconds in the style seen in the Badger Loop video.
• The badger reaching into a higher plane to pull out a snake is a reference to the movie Snakes on a Plane, starring Samuel L. Jackson. The additional message about Samuel L. Jackson not being around to see it when adventuring in the Nearby Plains is also a reference, being a Snake on a Plain (from a plane), and apparent from the other end in the Higher Plane Serpents miss message and the Tomb asp fumble message.