Peace, Bra!

Peace, Bra!

Your skin begins to crawl even before you enter the next level of the basement. Once you open the door, you can see why: you've wandered into a keg party/drum circle for Pi Eta Tau Alpha, the hippy fraternity! These bizarre hybrids have finally put aside their differences, realizing what hippies and frat boys have in common: a love of herbal brownies and smoke-inhalation, a corresponding shallow appreciation for reggae music, and respect for the importance of brotherhood.

You watch them circulate, paddling each other with cruelty-free organic paddles, doing beer bongs and regular bongs, all without mussing their emo-dreads or staining their hemp polo shirts. Your stomach churns, especially when you see you're going to have to cross the whole room without getting paddled *and* without your nose falling off.

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Hold your nose and watch your back

One of the hippy frat boys gives you a hug, which is bad enough, but then he slides his hand down and pinches your -- well, let's just say at least he isn't paddling. Ugh, man.

You lose X hit points. (sleaze damage)

You lose X hit points. (stench damage)

• if this beats you up

  You reel from the indignity and the smell, and as you stagger you feel a solid smack to your hindquarters, accompanied by a whiff of what goes on under the arms of someone who has been swinging a paddle for several hours. Everything goes kind of black after that, which is almost an improvement.

• if you survive

  You back away from the grabby hugger and manage to make it through the room without getting a drugged drink, contact high, paddling, sneezing fit, dousing with cheap cologne, phatty dread, or any bad pick-up lines. Whew!

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Occurs at Fernswarthy's Basement.

References

• Pi Eta Tau Alpha would be the Greek letters that correspond to PETA.