Save the Dolls/Save the Cardboard

You see two men standing in front of you, behind a pair of card tables. One guy has his table piled high with mint-in-box action figures. The other guy's table is piled high with baseball cards.

"Hey, can you help me?" The action-figure guy says. "As you can see, burning lava is starting to seep through the grates in this room. I need someone to help carry my action figures to safety before the lava turns them into soup."

"No way!" the other guy says. "Help me save my collection of mint-in-package baseball cards!"

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You have two choices:

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Save the Dolls

You save the action figures from the lava flow. "Thanks, man," Mr. Action Figure says. "You've proven you're a true dork. As such, I can impart to you some arcane bits of dork knowledge."

You gain $basement level-dependent Magicalness.

The stairs get headed down by you.

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Save the Cardboard

You save the baseball cards from the lava flow. "Thanks, man," Mr. Baseball says. "I could tell you weren't a big enough dork to help that guy save his dolls. You're pretty cool. Thumbs-up, man." You feel moxious energy radiating from his upraised thumb.

You gain $basement level-dependent Smarm.

The stairs get headed down by you.

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Occurs at Fernswarthy's Basement.