Skelter Butleton, the Butler Skeleton

Skelter Butleton, the Butler Skeleton
Monster ID	408
Locations	The VERY Unquiet Garves (after reading half of a memo)
Hit Points	180
Attack	170
Defense	153
No-Hit	174
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	undead
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops	silver shrimp fork
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting Skelter Butleton, the Butler Skeleton

You hear a soft "ahem" behind you, and turn to see a skeleton butler, wrapped in the shreds of what used to be an impeccably pressed tuxedo. He bows stiffly, then addresses you in unctuous tones:

"Greetings, sir. I am Skelter Butleton, the former butler to Lord Spookyraven. I've ironed your newspaper, shined your shoes, and tidied up the ballroom. I'd like to beat you within an inch of your life now, if that is at all convenient."

You start to tell him that it's really not at all convenient, but it's too late -- he's already inching toward you, bony fists at the ready.

Hit Message(s):

He bows stiffly in front of you. A little too close to you, in fact, since his bony head collides with yours. Ow! Ouch! Oof! Ouch!

He superciliously kicks you square in the leg. Ooh! Argh! Eek! Ugh!

He shamelessly toadies up to you. You get warts all over your arse. Ooh! Ooh! Oof! Oof!

He buttles you in the <kidney>. Ooh! Oof! Ugh! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He whips out a feather duster and cleans the tombstones around you, then picks up a tombstone and heaves it at you. It smacks you square in the lower back, and you fall down, thoroughly stoned. Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to head-butt you, but apparently is a lousy head-buttler.

He tries to strangle you with his bowtie, but it turns out it's a clip-on.

He throws his bowler hat at you, but it's only felt, so you barely feel it. Er, it is barely felt by you.

He tries to buttle you in the arm, but ends up buttling himself instead. You tell him to stop buttling himself, and he replies "Would that I could, sir."

He tries to punch you in the face, but you keep a stiff upper lip.

He tries to toady up to you, but you hop away.

Fumble Message:

He starts to walk towards you, then stops, bows, and asks if there will be anything else. He has such a strange, obsequious manner that you want to have him killed. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: silver shrimp fork

You gain 33 <substat>.

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Occurs in The Misspelled Cemetary once you have used the Half of a memo from your inventory.

References

• The miss message in which you tell him to "stop buttling himself" is from a 2002 episode of The Simpsons.
• The miss message in which he tries to use his bowler hat as a weapon is a reference to Oddjob, a villain from the James Bond movie and novel Goldfinger.
• The fumble message is a reference to the They Might Be Giants song Turn Around – "He had the same obsequious manner / that was the reason I had him killed."