The Brotherhood of the Smackdown

Data on this page needs confirmation. Need to fine tune the initiation Muscle values for task 2 onwards Also needs proper item types/quantities for first task reward

The Brotherhood of the Smackdown is the guild for Muscle-based classes and is located in Seaside Town on the Right Side of the Tracks. Here, Seal Clubbers and Turtle Tamers learn new skills and buy their terrible toys. Accordion Thieves level 9 and above with access to the Shadowy Store may also shop at the Smacketeria.

Initiation

Gunther, Lord of the Smackdown

Gunther decides whether or not you may enter the guild by giving you tasks and judging your ability to complete them. Upon completion of the first three tasks, you are eligible to be trained by Torg the Trainer. Upon completion of the fourth task, you are permitted to purchase items from the Smacketeria.

First task

• The first task is to fetch a can of beans, which is possible with a Muscle level of 6. (on 4/21/06, failed this task with a Muscle of 8?)
• Message before doing it:
  

"Greetings, <name>. I am Gunther, the leader of the Brotherhood. If you wish to join us, there are several tasks you must perform in order by prove yourself.

The first task is this: Do you see that pot of baked beans over there? Bring it to me."

• Message when failing it:

Those are some heavy beans! Try as you might, you are unable to lift the pot.

Gunther sneers at you disdainfully.

• Message when completing it:

You lift the pot of beans, and proudly place it at Gunther's feet.

"Well done, Initiate," says Gunther. "Welcome to the Brotherhood."

"Here, have a small reward. You can get more of these items at the Barrel Full of Barrels, in the Big Mountains. I'll mark it on your map.

You acquire 0−2 enchanted barbells

You acquire 0−2 giant moxie weeds

You acquire 0−2 concentrated magicalness pills

You acquire 0−2 bottles of Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir

• You get a total of 4-5 items.

Second task

• The second task is to arm-wrestle Hank the Janitor, which is first possible with a Muscle level of 13 or 14.
• Message before doing it:
  

Greetings, Initiate. You must still complete two challenges before you are admitted to the Brotherhood.

Your second task is to beat Harvey, our janitor, in an arm-wrestling match.

• Message when failing it:

Harvey turns out to be much stronger than he looks. You are unable to beat him.

Gunther shakes his head sadly.

• Message when completing it:
  

You swiftly show Harvey who's boss, and he walks away, dejected, rubbing his bicep.

"Another task completed, Initiate," says Gunther.

Third task

• The third task is to eat a 72-ounce steak in one sitting, which is possible with a Muscle level of 18. (or base 13, buffed 20)(beat it with muscle of 14)
• Message before doing it:
  

Only one task remains, Initiate.

You must eat this entire 72-ounce steak in less than one hour.

• Message when failing it:

You manage to eat most of the steak, but you can't finish the last few bites.

"Try again when you're a little tougher," says Gunther.

• Message when completing it:
  

You easily polish off the steak.

Gunther smiles. "Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Smackdown," he says.

Eating the 72-ounce steak does not violate Oxygenarian or Boozetafarian codes of conduct.

Fourth task

• The fourth task is to perform 500 chin-ups, which is not possible with a Muscle level of 15, but is possible with a muscle level of 20 (unbuffed), or base of 16 WHILE buffed to 24.
• Message before doing it:
  

Though you are now a full member, you must further prove yourself in order to gain access to our Guild store, the Smacketeria. I'd say... 500 chinups would do the trick.

• Message when failing it:
  

After 100 chinups, you're feeling good. After 200 chinups, you're feeling not so good. After 300 chinups, you're feeling pretty bad. After 400 chinups, you're feeling the floor hit you in the face.

"Perhaps you should try again when you're stronger," says Gunther.

• Message when completing it:
  

You grab the bar, and begin to do chinups. It starts to get pretty difficult at number 450, but you redouble your efforts, and complete the challenge.

"Enjoy the Smacketeria," says Gunther.

Message after completion

You have already passed all of the challenges of your Guild.

Trainer

Torg, The Trainer

For the cost of 1,000 meat per level, he will train you in Seal Clubber Skills or Turtle Tamer Skills.

Quests

Olaf the Janitor

• Message before having the level requirement of the bitchin' meatcar quest, or the first time you visit if you completed the quest before the guild changes were made:

"Ah, you must be the new guild member! I'm Olaf, janitor of the Brotherhood. Mighty warrior against dirt!"

He narrows his eyes. "I hope you remembered to wipe your feet," he adds, in a menacing tone.

• Message on initial visit:

You ask Olaf about the meatcar.

He gives you a guilty look.

"The meatcar? Um. Well, I parked it at Degrassi Knoll, but by Boris's Hammer, when I got back to it those fiendish gnolls had stolen it!

Here, I'll give you a list of the parts you need to build a new one. Don't tell Gunther, all right?"

You acquire Degrassi Knoll shopping lists

• Message on subsequent vists:

"Have you found all of the meatcar parts? Once you have them all, you'll need to use meat paste to stick them all together. Fear not, warrior -- it is not a complicated device."

• Message after having built the bitchin' meatcar:

"Ah, I see you have rebuilt the meatcar. Thank you, <name>. After such trials, you deserve a respite -- perhaps a trip to the beach? I shall mark it on your map for you.

Keep your eyes peeled if you decide to head South of the Border -- it can be a dangerous place. If you're in the mood for something safer, you can always just head to the travel agency instead."

• Message after having built the bitchin' meatcar and talked to him at least once before:

Olaf looks up from his mopping, and gives you a friendly nod.

Shop

The Smacketeria

Muscle-based classes who have passed the fourth guild task may purchase items here (Level 9+ Accordion Thieves may as well).

Items Sold

• Medicinal Herb's medicinal herbs: 100 Meat.
• cheap wind-up clock: 200 Meat.
• blood of the Wereseal: 500 Meat.
• enchanted brass knuckles: 1,000 Meat.

Related Locations

• Other guild halls:
  • The League of Chef-Magi for mysticality classes (Pastamancer, Sauceror)
  • The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts for moxie classes (Disco Bandit, Accordion Thief)