The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts

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The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts is the guild for Disco Bandits and Accordion Thieves and is located on the Wrong Side of the Tracks in Seaside Town. Here guild members can learn new skills and buy useful items.

Initiation

Shifty, the Thief Chief

Shifty decides whether or not you may enter the guild by giving you tasks and judging your ability to complete them. Upon completion of the first three tasks, you are elegible for training by Lefty. Upon completion of the fourth task, you are permitted to purchase items from The Shadowy Store.

First task

• The first task is to play 11-Card Monte (capable of completion with raw Moxie of 7, perhaps less.)
• Reward: Access to the Barrel full of Barrels, 2 giant moxie weeds, an enchanted barbell, and a rockin' wagon.
• Message before doing it:
  

Shifty looks you over as you approach. "So, you want to join the Department, do you? Well, to gain access to the various perks we offer, you'll have to succeed in a series of tasks, each more difficult than the last.

The first one is simple -- we're going to play a straightforward game of 11-Card Monte. If you can find the Queen, you have passed the test."

• Message when failing it:
  

(missing)

• Message when completing it:
  

Shifty quickly moves the cards around on the table, seemingly at random. When they come to rest, you hesitantly point to the third card from the right. Shifty turns the card over, revealing it to be the Queen of Pointy Things.

"Nicely done, Initiate," says Shifty. "Welcome to the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts."

"Here, take these -- you can get more at the Barrel Full of Barrels, in the Big Mountains. I'll mark it on your map.

You acquire 2 giant moxie weeds

You acquire an item: enchanted barbell

You acquire an item: rockin' wagon

Second task

• The second task is to steal Izzy's wallet (not capable of completion with raw Moxie of 11 (you get the Ace of Post-Hole Diggers), but capable of completion with a buffed Moxie of 12)
• Message before doing it:
  

Shifty nods at you. "Ready for the next task? This one's a little harder: you see that guy over there? That's Izzy the Lizard. I want you to steal his wallet, and bring it back to me. If you can do it without him noticing, I'll let you use the Department's meatcar.

• Message when failing it:
  

(missing)

• Message when completing it:
  

You approach Izzy the Lizard silently and stealthily. You deftly hork his wallet and bring it back to Shifty.

"Nice work, Initiate," says Shifty. "Here are the keys to our meatcar. Ask Izzy where he parked it."

Third task

• The third task is to steal a beer from the bar behind the bar (capable of completion with a buffed moxie of 16, but not a buffed Moxie of 15, which got me beat about the head and neck by the bar)
• Message before doing it:
  

"All right, Initiate, only one task remains to prove yourself as a member of the Department.

In the back room of this building, there is a bar. Behind the bar, there is a bar. You must sneak past the bar, and grab me a beer from the bar."

• Message when failing it:
  

(missing)

• Message when completing it:
  

You stride past Shifty and go through the door in the back of the room. You deftly maneuver (and muscle for rank) past the bar, and make your way to the bar. You grab a beer, and take it back to Shifty. He cracks it with a smile.

"Congratulations, <name>," he says. "You are now a full member of the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts."

Fourth task

• The fourth task is to steal your own pants (completed with a base moxie of 16, buffed to 18)
• Message before doing it:
  

"You have done well so far, my friend. You have almost earned access to the Shadowy Store in our back room. In order to do this, you must complete another challenge:

Steal your own pants, without alerting yourself to your presence..."

• Message when failing it:
  

(missing)

• Message when completing it:
  

You sneak up behind yourself and remove your pants before you realize what's going on.

"Nice work!" says Shifty. "I'll let the guys in the back room know you're cool to shop there now."

Message after completion

You have already passed all of the challenges of your Guild.

Trainer

Lefty the Trainer

Lefty teaches Disco Bandit Skills and Accordion Thief Skills for a fee of 1,000 meat per skill level.

Shop

The Shadowy Store

Moxie-based characters who have passed the fourth guild task may buy wares here to aid them in any and all shadowy activities they might choose to pursue.

Items Sold

• ye olde golde frontes: 1,500 Meat
• bejeweled accordion strap: 2,000 Meat
• moxie magnet: 3,000 Meat

References

• Post-hole diggers (Post-holers) may be a reference to the Sci-Fi show Firefly where, in one episode, post-holers briefly become the topic of discussion for some of the characters.
• The second task may be a reference to the band Queen, and a song of theirs, Play The Game.

Related Locations

• Other guild halls:
  • The Brotherhood of the Smackdown for muscle classes (Seal Clubber, Turtle Tamer)
  • The League of Chef-Magi for mysticality classes (Pastamancer, Sauceror)