The Orc Chasm

• When approaching when there is no bridge:

You examine your supplies. You have:

no "appropriate" lumber

no "appropriate" fasteners

Looks like you're going to have to check out that lumber camp down there and see if you can find some building materials.

• When approaching with a bridge in your inventory:

You examine the bridge you've been carrying around. It's not long enough to span the Orc Chasm, but it turns out it's of smut orc manufacture. How convenient!

You disassemble it into usable lumber and fasteners.

You acquire some morningwood planks

You acquire some raging hardwood planks

You acquire some weirdwood planks

You acquire some thick caulks

You acquire some long hard screws

You acquire some messy butt joints

• When approaching after collecting some fasteners and lumber from the Logging Camp:

You examine your supplies. You have:

X "appropriate" pieces of lumber

Y "appropriate" fasteners

First time only:

You use some of the horrible building materials from the smut orcs' camp to start building a bridge.

Subsequent times:

You use some more of those horrible building materials to continue constructing a bridge.

• Upon completion of the bridge:

Huzzah! The bridge is finished!

And having finished the bridge, you throw away the rest of the smut orcs' terrible building materials. Good riddance.

• After completion of the bridge:

Unless you want to blow up the bridge you just built, Alec Guinness style, there's nothing more to do here.

Notes

• You have to collect a total of 30 "appropriate" pieces of lumber and 30 "appropriate" fasteners to complete the bridge, allowing access to The Highlands.
• The "appropriate" lumber and fasteners come from The Smut Orc Logging Camp, or from the following items -
  • A bridge provides 12-15 lumber and 12-15 fasteners.
  • A miniature suspension bridge extends the bridge by 10 segments.
  • A fancy oil painting extends the bridge by 10 segments.
  • Snow boards extend the bridge by 5 segments.
• A logging hatchet from Camp Logging Camp helps get extra lumber during combat.
• A loadstone from the Inside of Itznotyerzitz Mine helps get extra fasteners during combat.

History

• On November 14, 2012, this area was revamped; it used to be a clickable location that would be replaced by The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm (now called The Valley of Rof L'm Fao) if you had a bridge in your inventory. Below is the former text of this page:

The Orc Chasm appears in The Big Mountains when you reach level 9 and The Council of Loathing sends you to assist Baron Rof L'm Fao. To cross the Chasm, you need a bridge. If you don't have one, you will see the following message:

You approach the Orc Chasm, and see no way to cross it. You make as if to go around it, and are suddenly intercepted by a group of Smut Orcs.

Try as you might, you are unable to get past them. It looks like you're going to have to find a way to get over the chasm, not around it.

When the Chasm has been bridged, you can adventure in The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm, after seeing the following message:

You approach the Orc Chasm, and whip out your trusty bridge. You place the bridge across the chasm, and the path to the Valley is clear.

References

• When spoken aloud, Orc Chasm sounds like orgasm.
• The Smut Orcs are probably foreshadowings of the XXX pr0n on the far side of the Chasm – their name is the word "scrotums" spelled backwards.
• Alec Guinness is an English actor who starred in the movie The Bridge on the River Kwai, where he played Lt. Colonel Nicholson. In the movie, Nicholson and his fellow P.O.W.s build a bridge for the Japanese, then blow it up in the end.
• The image of the Chasm is a tad yonic.