Wax lips

wax lips

Wow, these are way better than those wax poetics and eloquents you've encountered. This is a pair of wax lips designed to add a garish, wide, unsettling smile to the dourest familiar. Just don't be surprised if your familiar starts asking you about pale, moonlit dances with the devil.

Type: familiar equipment
Cannot be discarded

Enchantment:
+10 lbs. of Volleyball

Notes

• Equips on any familiar.
• July 2005's special of the month from Mr. Store.

References

• In the hilarious 1983 Steve Martin comedy The Man with Two Brains, his character Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr places a glass jar containing the living brain of Ms. Anne Uumellmahaye (with whom he has fallen in love) on the stern seat of a rowing dinghy on a boating lake, then sticks a pair of life-size red wax lips on the glass jar, the better to kiss her.
• The description of this item alludes to a quote by Jack Nicholson, as the Joker, "Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?", from the 1989 movie Batman. The Joker has always had a large waxy smile.
• A pair of lips is also the signature image used on Rocky Horror Picture Show dvds, cds, and posters, as the movie opens with a giant, disembodied pair of lips singing the song 'Science Fiction: Double Feature.'

Messages on Different Familiars

• Angry Goat: Your familiar harrumphs and growls, but still smiles with his wax lips.

• Attention-Deficit Demon: Your familiar smiles through his wax lips, then starts chewing on them, then sticks them to his forehead, then starts playing rock-paper-scissors with himself.

• Baby Gravy Fairy: Your familiar grins a blissed-out grin, the way only mushrooms and fairies can.

• Baby Yeti: Your familiar grins carnivorously with his wax lips.

• Barrrnacle: Your familiar smiles almost as if he were a creature incapable of facial expressions who had some wax lips stuck on his shell.

• Blood-Faced Volleyball: Your familiar smiles extra hard with the help of his wax lips.

• Cheshire Bat: Your familiar disappears and reappears, leaving only the wax lips floating in the air in a curious (and curiouser) smile.

• Clockwork Grapefruit: O, my droogies, Your familiar grins a real horrorshow grin with his wax goobers.

• Cocoabo: Your familiar smiles uncomfortably with his wax lips. If anyone asks, "do cocoabos have lips?", now the answer is "yes."

• Coffee Pixie: Your familiar is vibrating so fast her wax lips are a blur, but she appears to be smiling.

• Crimbo Elf: Your familiar smiles reluctantly with his wax lips.

• Cymbal-Playing Monkey: Your familiar manages to look even creepier with his blood-red wax lips. shudder.

• Emo Squid: Your familiar smiles brightly with his wax lips, but the pain inside still seethes and burns. Your familiar begins to sob.

• Feather Boa Constrictor: Your familiar ssssmiles a ssserpentine sssmile with her wax lipsss.

• Flaming Gravy Fairy: Your familiar grins with wax lips that are rapidly melting into a bright red liquid.

• Frozen Gravy Fairy: Your familiar grins an icy grin with her frozen wax lips.

• Fuzzy Dice: Your familiar grins with his wax lips. How he manages to roll with the wax lips stuck on one side, we don't know.

• Ghost Pickle on a Stick: Your familiar grins sourly and spookily with his wax lips.

• Ghuol Whelp: Oddly enough, Your familiar grins ghuolishly with his wax lips. At least they hide what he's got stuck in his teeth.

• Grue: A gleam of white (and bright red) in the dark indicate that Your familiar is smiling with his wax lips.

• Hand Turkey: Your familiar smiles with his wax lips -- it's a smile you know like the back of your hand.

• Hanukkimbo dreidl: Your familiar spins again and lands with the wax lips facing up in a very kosher smile.

• Hovering Sombrero: Your familiar hace una sonrisa brillante con sus labios de cera. (Translation: It does a brilliant smile with its lips of wax.)

• Howling Balloon Monkey: Your familiar squeaks and shifts uncomfortably beneath his wax lips.

• Inflatable Dodecapede: Your familiar grins happily, not at all weighed down by his wax lips.

• Jill-O-Lantern: Your familiar smiles brightly with her wax lips, pleased to finally have a full set of teeth.

• Killer Bee: Your familiar smiles predatorially with his wax lips.

• Leprechaun: Begorrah, Your familiar grins an Irish grin with his wax lips.

• Levitating Potato: Your familiar smiles a tuberiffic, tubular smile with his wax lips.

• MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech: Your familiar smiles goofily with his wax lips. OMG Kawaiiiii!

• Mosquito: Your familiar buzzes ominously while smiling with his wax lips.

• Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Your familiar grins at you with the wax lips stuck to the outside of his mask. The effect is, on the whole, disturbing.

• Personal Raincloud: Your familiar smiles quickly with the wax lips, before you can wonder how you can stick wax lips on a cloud.

• Sabre-Toothed Lime: Your familiar grins and almost loses his wax lips (they don't fit well over the sabre teeth, you see).

• Snowy Owl: Your familiar pokes its beak through the wax lips and says something that sounds like "O RLY?".

• Spooky Pirate Skeleton: Your familiar grins happily, since he now has lips. He still doesn't have any guts, though.

• Stab Bat: Your familiar grins a bloodthirsty, untrustworthy grin with his wax lips.

• Star Starfish: Your familiar smiles vertically with his wax lips. You must have stuck them on wrong.

• Stinky Gravy Fairy: Your familiar smiles invitingly with her wax lips, but you still can't stand to get too close.

• Sweet Nutcracker: Your familiar makes muffled "clop" noises underneath the wax lips.

• Teddy Bear: Your familiar smiles broadly through the wax lips. First one to make a "grin and bear it" joke gets kneecapped.

• Temporal Riftlet: Your familiar smiles in slow motion with the lips that are somehow suspended in his howling void.

• Whirling Maple Leaf: Your familiar smiles all aboot with his wax lips, eh? Ya hoser.