Ye Olde Medieval Insult

Ye Olde Medieval Insult

This is a little rectangle of thick parchment paper containing a cutting insult. Well, an insult that would be cutting if it hadn't been dulled by hundreds of years of irrelevance.

Type: combat item
Selling Price: 72 Meat.

(In-game plural: Ye Olde Medieval Insults)

View metadata
Item number: 6278
Description ID: 916721911
View in-game: view
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refreshedit data

Obtained From

Ground Floor

Renaissance Giant

When Used

	You read the insult out loud to your foe: "Randomly constructed medieval insult" It pauses for a moment, looking both enraged and confused. Monster attack power reduced by 15-20 Monster defense reduced by 15-20

Insults

• "An aging, brain-addled <animal> has more brains than thou, thou <jerk>!"
• "I shall not waste words with thee, but merely observe thou art a <stupid> <stupid> <jerk>."
• "I would not expect a <stupid> <stupid> <jerk> like thee to understand even the depths of thine own worthlessness!"
• "In sooth, I have never seen a more <stupid> <jerk> than thou!"
• "Thou'rt a <fat> <stupid> <jerk>. Be thou not cross with me, for I am but the bearer of these bad tidings."
• "Thou'rt so dull of wit, if I called thee a <stupid> <stupid> <jerk>, thou wouldst take it as a compliment!"
• "Verily, I am surprised that thou took time from thy busy <activity> schedule to cross words with me, thou <jerk>!"
• "Verily, thou art a <stupid> <jerk>!"
• "What's that? Didst thou say thou art a pathetic <stupid> <jerk>? Then thou speakest sooth!"
• "Wouldst thou match wits with me, thou <stupid> <jerk>? I see thou'rt unarmed for such a contest!"
• "If brains were grain, thou wouldst not have sufficient quantity to feed thy <fat> <female relative>!"
• "Thy <female relative> is so <fat>, when she sitteth in a hot bath, she maketh her own gravy!"
• "Thy <female relative> is a <fat> <lady of the night>. If that offendeth thee, thou shouldst not shoot the messenger!"
• "Thy <female relative> is so <fat>, when she doth sit around thy swine-pen of a house, she really sits around thy swine-pen of a house!"
• "Thy <female relative> is such a <stupid> <stupid> <lady of the night>, her attentions may be purchased with a scrap of paper enscrivened with the letters I.O.U.!"
• "Thy <female relative> is such a <stupid> <lady of the night>, she will entertain any gentlemen with a brass farthing to spend and offer change from the transaction!"

Stupid

• beef-witted
• boil-brained
• churlish
• clapper-clawed
• clod-brained
• clumpish
• cockered
• cougar-fowling
• dunder-headed
• excrement-wallowing
• fat-kidneyed
• fen-sucked
• fishwife-necked
• flap-wagging
• fusty
• knotty-pated
• mewling
• pelican-buggering
• pigeon-liver'd
• pribbling
• profligate
• reeky
• rump-faced
• rump-fed
• self-rutting
• shard-borne
• spongy
• tickle-brained
• toad-spotted
• unchin-snouted
• weather-bitten
• yeasty

Jerk

• basket-cockle
• canker-blossom
• coxcomb
• flap-dragon
• flax-wench
• knave
• miscreant
• nut-hook
• pignut
• pillock
• ratsbane
• scullion
• skainsmate
• skut
• varlot
• wantwit
• whey-face

Fat

• avoirdupois
• corpulent
• elephantine
• hogs-bodied
• porcine
• portly
• rotund
• swinish
• thickset
• whalelike

Lady of the night

• affection-peddler
• bawd
• harlot
• minx
• profligate
• purveyor of the world's oldest profession
• rent-rump
• slattern
• strumpet

Activity

• mosquito-buggering
• tail-leasing
• wainscoting

Notes

• Stuns monster for 1 round when used.

Collection

• 🥇: Infopowerbroker (#2109704) - 112,441
• 🥈: Synthetik (#1331850) - 17,720
• 🥉: frogger (#1658483) - 4,096
• #4: Violet42 (#1599579) - 919
• #5: Hanson The Mighty (#1195106) - 880
• #6: ChiOnGster (#1767366) - 793
• #7: DosBoot (#115656) - 780
• #8: Mistress of the Obvious (#845708) - 669
• #9: Magister30 (#1577341) - 622
• #10: GadTheHero (#360318) - 592

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