A Hobo

A Hobo is located in the 2016 incarnation of Crimbo Town.

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• Before aligning your Guts Chakra

There's a half-orc hobo here, passed out in a lotus position. Oh wait, maybe he's meditating? It's kind of hard to tell. Maybe you should go finish aligning your other chakras, and come back later to see if he's sobered up.

• After aligning your Guts Chakra, on or after December 15, 2016:

"Hmmm? Oh, hey kid. Whasshup?" the hobo slurs at you. "Oh right, riiiight. You're the one with the thing. Whaddya call it? That thing you've got?"

"Sobriety?"

"The other one."

"...A job?" you hazard.

"Yeah, yeah, that's the bunny. You got a job to do an' I was brought here to help ya with that thing. I'm Sleepy Dave Kowalski. I'm an expert in the wossname chakra. You know the one."

"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that it's Liver."

"That's it! Good job. The liver, y'see, is your center of stamina and defense. Booze is basic'ly poison, right? Feels good, but that's coz your brain is shuttin' down. Your liver filters it out of your blood and gets rid of it, so's you can keep on drinkin'! And your Liver chakra is the same, except for, like, spiritual stuff. Filters out the poisons a' daily life, so's you can keep on livin'. That's why it's called a 'liver'!"

"Huh. Okay."

"Like all filters, though, it gets clogged up with overuse. An' you adventurer-types, you do a whole lotta livin'. So you gotta get in there and clean that gunk out."

"Gotcha. Thanks, Kowalski."

"Good luck, kid."

• Subsequent visits, before aligning your Liver Chakra:

"Hey, kid." Kowalski squints at you. "Seems like you ain't quite done with that Liver chakra yet."

"No, I'm still working on it," you say. "How did you know?"

He shrugs. "Eh, I just got a fifth sense about these things."

"Fifth? Did you lose one?"

"Yeah, I don't smell too good these days."

• After aligning your Liver Chakra:

"Hey, kid!" Kowalski says. "Looks like you got your Liver chakra sorted out! I can tell by the twinkle in your eye, and the spring in your step, and such as like that."

"Yup," you say. "Thanks for your help, Kowalski."

"Don't sweat it, kid, no thanks necessary. Least I can do. My nose don't work so good these days, but I can still smell a party brewing, and there's no party like a Crimbo party."

"So what do I do now?"

"Well, you've got three to go. Should be someone around here who can tell you about the next one. If they aren't here yet, check again tomorrow."

Notes

• Disappears after Crimbo's Boots is 100% clean.